Anecdotes, Antidotes, and Anodes

It's a Hat Party - Breast Cancer Awareness

 

We celebrated the last of my six chemotherapy treatments and forty-seven radiation treatments with a hat party. Actually, it was a surprise hat party for me as my neighbor broke into my house and everyone was waiting there after I returned from Tulsa for my last radiation. 

Bartlesville readers will probably recognize some of these special people who were part of my support system.  A point for each one you identify. 

Hats and scarves were integral accoutrements of my wardrobe. I became quite adept at tying and attaching things onto my head. Wigs were not my favorite unless it was a clown wig or a metallic wig or a purple Alice Cooper wig. 

But, my very favorite head accessories were my students' caps. As we know, it's frowned upon to let kiddos wear them to school, but for almost an entire school year my students were allowed to bring them to my class.  There was a sign-up sheet for me to wear each student's favorite cap.  I wore everything from, of course, OSU and OU caps to every business in town, to vacation spots, rock groups, festivals, and every sports team known to man. I advertised products and had no idea what they were for. Signs and symbols that I probably don't want to know what they meant. 

The main thing was, we had fun with my baldness. My students were a huge support system. They may not have learned a whole lot from the curriculum in my class that year, but they watched their teacher fight and survive. They learned to never give up. There were days I could hardly get out of my chair, and they understood. They learned compassion. There was not one discipline problem ever. They learned what empathy was. 

What did I learn? I learned those sixth graders had hearts of gold. I knew that anyway, but it was especially apparent this year. 

 

 

 

...

 

Miles for Mammograms - Links and Suggestions

 

 

 

 

The Family HealthCare Clinic in Bartlesville has provided 37 mammogram coupons to patients this year.

This represents over $30,000 in free breast cancer screening services to people in Washington, Osage, and Nowata counties.

Miles for Mammograms supports the clinic's ability to provide those coupons and to keep our doors open for people without insurance to have access to quality, affordable health care appointments and labs. 

Click on the links above to read more about the clinic and the 5K run. 

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If you have someone in your life who is traveling the road of beating cancer, it's better to offer what you are going to do rather than ask, "What can I do to help?"

When I was walking this walk, there were days I didn't know which end was up and had no idea what I needed or what my girls needed.

When family and friends told me what they were going to do, it was such a relief that they made the decision for me. 

Try some of these:

"I am bringing dinner to you tomorrow night.  Are you allergic to anything?"

OR

"I'll run your car pool for Brooke's gymnastic group this week."

OR

"There will be a gallon of milk on your doorstep every Sunday afternoon"

OR

"I'll be at your house Monday morning to clean, and I'm bringing lunch."

OR

"I'll drive you to your doctor's appointment, or chemo treatment, or radiation treatment, etc. this week"

OR

"I have tickets to ___________ movie. I'll pick you up at 6:00."

 

If you want to make sure there is dinner on the table every night for a family, organize by using  MEAL TRAIN. 

I had 47 radiation treatments in Tulsa after school and was not able to drive myself. A friend organized a calendar with drivers every day M-F for 9 weeks and 2 days. 
But, whose counting ? 
Someone was sitting in my driveway every day to drive me 45 minutes to my appointments.

There were snacks in the car for my daughter who usually went with me and myself. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Is Why We Run - Miles For Mammograms

 

Our Miles for Mammograms co-chairs this year are sisters, Rosemary Whitson and Laurie Marshall.

Read Rosemary and Laurie's story HERE. 

 

 

Breast Cancer Awareness

 

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, but we need to be aware of Breast Cancer EVERY month.

One of my goals is to post several times about Breast Cancer Awareness during September...leading up to our Miles for Mammograms 5K on October 1. 

Another goal is to run/walk that 5K on October 1 as a 70 year old 30 year Breast Cancer Survivor Warrior. 

EARLY DETECTION SAVES LIVES !

If you are due having a mammogram, go get 'er done along with a breast exam. 

If you aren't sure at what age you should have one, call your doctor or a Family HealthCare Clinic for advice. Click Here for Information

Do monthly self-exams. Click Here for Instructions

Personal story:

During a visit to my oncologist in Tulsa, I mentioned to him I had read that putting ice packs on one's head would keep one's hair from falling out.

His reply to me, "Kathy, you could sit in a freezer for 24/7. Your hair is going to fall out."

He was 100% correct because 100% of my hair fell out. 

I got tired of vacuuming hair off the carpet, brushing it off my pillow, cleaning it out of the shower, etc.

So, I asked a friend to come over and shave it all off. 

That gave me a sense of control.

The above photo proves that the chemo-cocktail of Adriamycin and Cytoxin will cause one's hair to fall out. 

P.S. And yes, I did try those ice packs. They didn't work. B-r-r-r-r !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Veterans Day Tribute

   

This is my dad's brother, Uncle Dexie.  He served as a Master Sergeant in WWII in the Panama Canal.

We miss you Dexie !

 

   
This is my dad's brother, Uncle Jim Bob.  He served in the Korean War and spent a lot of time in Germany.  He is also pictured here with my beautiful Aunt Paula.     We lost him many years ago. Aunt Paula lives in the great state of Texas.

One of my favorite memories of Jim was when he drove the get-away car on my wedding so that my new husband's friends wouldn't kidnap him and take him to Johns Valley in Pushmataha County. When we told him of the plans that they were going to kidnap Gary right after the reception, Jim said, and I quote him verbatim, "The hell they will."

 

  
The gentleman on the left is my father-in-law, better knows as Grandpa.  He was a Master Sergeant in World War II with Company D, 111th, Medical Battalion, 36th Infantry Division. He was part of four beachhead landings in North Africa, Sicily, France, and Italy. We lost him many years ago.

There are so many wonderful memories of Grandpa.  If I had to describe him, the best way I know how is this, "He had a broad face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly."    When Grandpa laughed, he laughed all over !  And, he laughed a lot.

The gentleman on the right is Grandpa's son, the father of my two beautiful daughters.  He served in the Oklahoma Army Reserve for many years.  My most vivid memories of those days are of Killeen, Texas,  Ft. Polk, Louisiana, and ironing those blankety-blank green fatigues every Friday night before he reported to the reserve unit in Antlers for a weekend of drills.

 

My brother-in-law, Albert Brown,  in the two photos above.  The first one when he was 18 years old and the the second was taken at the Tastee Freez in Antlers, Oklahoma where he became legendary.

He was a Private First Class in the Army and Honorably Discharged in 1951.  He served with The 338th Military Intelligence Service Company.

He is better known as "Uncle Albie."  No one could have loved my girls any more than he did.

 

 

And this young man is our son-in-law.  He has been deployed to Iraq FOUR times and then was stationed at Ramstein Air Force Base in Germany.

He was there with our daughter and three children for three years.

 

Thank you to these special people in my life AND their families.

Thank you to ALL the veterans who served  AND their families.

Thank you to ALL those who are still serving AND their families.

We all need to be thankful for them EVERY day.

Veterans Day is an official United States holiday honoring armed service veterans. It is a federal holiday that is observed on November 11th. It coincides with other holidays such as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day which are celebrated in other parts of the world and also mark the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended World War I.  Major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice. 

Veterans Day is not to be confused with Memorial Day.  Veterans Day celebrates the service of all U.S. military veterans, while Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving.

 

Breast Cancer Awareness...My Story Part 5

continued from previous post. . .

...and so my journey...my new life begins:

It doesn't seem as dark as yesterday. There appears to be a light at the end of this tunnel. I'm hoping that light is not a train. The road to the end of that tunnel will be rocky. The first thing I have to do is tell my precious daughters that I have breast cancer. 

It hasn't been that long since sharing the news with them that I had filed for divorce from their dad. That's earth shattering enough for a high-schooler and a middle-schooler. Their dad and I had been married for twenty-one years. This is not going to be easy to add one more crisis to their young lives.

My friend who was with me the day of my surgery, came to take me home from the hospital. Her husband was the pathologist who saw the cancer cells first. She took me to her house, and I lay on her couch in the fetal position for about an hour. Her house was warm and cozy, and I wanted to just sink into that couch and disappear between the cushions.

Her husband, Dr. B., came home and we discuss my plan for chemotherapy. The treatments will be done at the Cancer Care Center in Tulsa. Dr. B. had called Dr. S. earlier that day, and I was on his list of new patients. Just like that, I have a new doctor. An oncologist. That sounded so foreign to me. I have an oncologist.

For the next hour, I am scheduling appointments just like I would schedule a hair cut. Except these appointments would save my life.  Dr. S. has already received the report and insists that I begin chemo immediately.

I am thinking that I need to recover from the surgery first, and then begin chemo.

"We can't wait," Dr. S. told me.

Well, that shook me to the core. "What do you mean...we can't wait?" I asked.

Because you have a very, very aggressive cancer and we must treat it aggressively, NOW !" he explained.

My first visit with Dr. S., my oncologist, was scheduled. 

I pull myself up by my bootstraps, which was a damn hard thing to do because I wasn't wearing boots, go to my house, and with all the courage I could muster, share the news with my precious daughters. (Pulling myself up by my bootstraps was a phrase my dad had used during my childhood. I had done it many times before, I could do it again.)

There have never been two more brave little girls than my  daughters.  Looking into their eyes that day, I knew I would beat this thing called cancer. They were my support. They were my reason to fight for my life with every ounce of my being. 

My Texas aunt drove up to be with me for my first appointment with Dr. S., my oncologist. This was just the first of many trips she would make to help push and pull me through this.  My relationship with her has vacillated from being the big sister I never had, my mom many times when I was little... and big, and always a best friend. Now she was my chaperone, house cleaner, cook, car-pooler, nurse and caregiver . . . and anybody else she needed to be.

We waited together for Dr. S., my oncologist, to walk into the examining room.

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170,000 women (and a few men) will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year.

98% of the cases are curable if caught early enough.

When was your last mammogram?

Do you need to schedule a mammogram?

When did you last perform a self-exam?

Breast Cancer Awareness...My Story Part 4

(continued from previous posts)

  . . . Dr. H's eyes lock with mine and I immediately know the b-b-sized bump is NOT harmless.

The words, "There are C ! A ! N ! C !E ! R ! cells," are bouncing off the walls of my hospital room and begin to reverberate inside my head. They shake my entire being. A Richter Scale somewhere is recording a 10.0 earthquake in Oklahoma.

My world is turning BLACK. I can not breathe. I can not see. I can not hear. I can not think. I can not feel my hands. 

This is a nightmare. Wake up ! But I'm not sleeping.  I am wide awake. I am asking myself:

"How do I tell my two daughters that I have breast cancer?"

On the day I turned 39, I wondered what it would feel like to be 40. I had always heard the expression, "Forty and pregnant." I surely didn't want to be 40 and pregnant. I was in the midst of a divorce. I just didn't know that when I turned 40, I would be bald.

Dr. H was gentle with his words, but they shook me to the core of my being:  very aggressive cancer, mastectomy, cancer, lumpectomy, cancer, chemotherapy, cancer, radiation, cancer, double-blind studies, cancer, support group, cancer ...and then I stopped listening. My ears refused to hear anymore.

At first, I thought my whole world would change, but it didn't take long to realize, some things never change.  The unconditional love for my two daughters and their unconditional love for me would always be there...an even deeper love and understanding like we had never known developed. My family was still my family and my friends were still my friends. I was still me. I just had CANCER ! Not the "C-word" but CANCER ! No euphemisms. I call 'em like I see 'em.  CANCER !

Yes, I had cancer. Cancer did NOT have me. 

There would still be sunshine and rain and rainbows. The moon and stars would still glitter in the night sky. The flowers would still bloom, the birds would still sing, and the dogs would still bark. My classroom would still on on the third floor at Central Middle School. My students would still be mine, they would just have a substitute teacher for awhile.

Yes, life would still go on...with or without me. I had to make a choice whether to throw a pity-party for myself, mope and be miserable or squeeze every ounce of life out of every minute I had left and make the most of a bad situation. I chose the latter. I knew the importance of being a good role-model. My girls needed their mother and I planned to be that role-model...strong yet vulnerable. 

I will survive !

And so my journey...my new life begins.

to be continued...

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In the length of time it has taken you to read this post, the worlds of approximately three women (possibly a man) have turned black because they have heard the same words Dr. H. spoke to me.
"There are CANCER cells."

Every two minutes, breast cancer is diagnosed. Of the next seven women you see, one will probably be diagnosed with breast cancer.

If you take the time to read this post again, someone has died of breast cancer.

This is not written to alarm or scare you. It is written to inform you that EARLY DETECTION saves lives.

Breast Self-Exams and mammograms can detect lumps early.
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For infomation about ChemoAngels, clink this link.

Breast Cancer Awareness...My Story: Part 3

(continued from previous posts)

..harmless !

My car must have known the way from school to Dr. H's office because I don't remember driving there. I don't remember parking, or walking out of the parking garage, or signing in with the receptionist.

I do remember the x-ray and the needle...the needle used to aspirate the little b-b-sized bump that has positioned itself in my left breast.

I do remember Dr. H. saying, "There was no fluid."

I do remember asking, "What does that mean?"

I do remember Dr. H. saying, "We're going to take it out just to be safe."

I do remember asking, "When?"

I do remember Dr. H. saying, "As soon as possible."

I do remember my ears ringing, my throat burning, and my mouth going dry.

As soon as possible was the following Tuesday. That means I have the rest of today and tonight, all day Saturday and Saturday night, all day Sunday and Sunday night, all day Monday and Monday night to think about this little b-b-sized bump.  Harmless. . .

My principal scheduled a substitute teacher for me on Tuesday and Wednesday, but I assured him I would be back on Thursday. How difficult could this be? 

I share the news with my daughters and assure them everything will be fine.

It is my job to assure EVERYONE that EVERYTHING will be fine, including myself.

Just to complicate my life, I happen to be in the throes of a divorce. The girls' dad is in New Jersey on a business trip, so I try to be their rock. I try to be my rock. It's pretty difficult being a rock with shaky knees. Their mom having surgery is not what they need to hear during the divorce proceedings. It is not what I need to hear either.

The next three days are a blur. Seems like my whole life is just a blur. I am going through the motions of everyday life, and my body is numb, but the b-b-sized bump hasn't disappeared. It is still there.  Harmless. . .

I've never figured out those hospital gowns:
How do they gap open so W I D E ? Why is it that sometimes they tie in the front and sometimes they tie in the back? And no matter where they tie, they still gap open. A roll of duct tape and a stapler should be issued with them.

My aunt and one of my best friends are in the room with me. Their faces are smiling but their worry shows. They each kiss me as my bed on wheels is rolled to parts unknown. Sweet words are whispered in my ear and then the medication takes over my brain. I remember being wheeled into the elevator. I do not remember being wheeled out of the elevator.

Dr. H. is my surgeon. He is also my friend. His son is in my sixth grade class.  Dr. B. is the assisting surgeon. He is also my friend. Dr. K. is my anesthesiologist. He is also my friend. I am surrounded by friends. I will be fine.

I don't know how long I was in surgery. It could have been hours. It could have been days. All I know is I am back in my room with tubes protruding from my body. I wonder if my left breast is still protruding from my body. I am afraid to look or touch. Dr. H. was to make the decision during the surgery as to how much tissue would be removed. The tissue would be sent immediately while I was in surgery to the pathologist to determine . . . B.E.N.I.G.N or C.A.N.C.E.R. 

My aunt and my friend are waiting and still smiling. For the life of me, I cannot remember where my girls are. I want them with me.

The door to my hospital room slowly opens and a Dr. H's head with his blue 'hat' emerges. I search for his eyes...

*****************************************************************

In the length of time it has taken you to read this post, approximately 3 women have received the news that they have breast cancer and 1 has died. (and possibly a man) 

Please help me spread the word that early detection saves lives. Ask a friend if she knows how to do a Breast Self Exam or if she is due a mammogram.

And you guys out there...have you asked your wife, girlfriend, mom, sister, daughter...?

Breast cancer is the most common cancer in women.

Have I mentioned that early detection saves lives?

Who have you called about this topic? You may save a life.

Breast Cancer Awareness...My Story: Part 2

(continued from previous post)

...there seemed to be no change since the last time I had done a breast self-exam.  But wait, what is that little 'bump' rolling around under my finger?  Oh, maybe just a bit of scar tissue from a biopsy done several years earlier.  It was B.E.N.I.G.N. Just a calcification that the doctor said I seemed to be prone to having.

My ears were still ringing from that deafening thunder-like noise that awakened me, making it all the more difficult to concentrate on this b-b-sized bump that wasn't supposed to be here.  Once that noise cleared out of my head, another one moved in.

B.E.N.I.G.N.  kept pounding between my ears.

Deciding to check it out in the mirror, I stumbled to the bathroom in the dark. Who keeps moving the light switch? I don't need any more challenges at 2:00 in the morning. The mirror revealed a tiny little dimple just below the biopsy scar. Harmless. Harmless, I thought.

Having stayed awake the rest of the night morning, I called Dr. H's office promptly at 8:00 to schedule an appointment that day after school.  Harmless. . .

to be continued

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Challenge:  Call 2 friends today to remind them about Breast Cancer Awareness Month and ask them to call 2 people and so on and so forth.  In a few weeks, someone who was on this 'call list' will have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Your phone call may save her life.

Questions:

1. When was the last time you did a breast self-exam?

2. When was your last mammogram? Is your next one scheduled?

3. When should you have your first mammogram?

4. Who are the 2 people you are going to call?

By the time you finish reading this post, 3 women will have received a diagnosis about breast cancer that will change their lives forever. Within the next 90 seconds, a family will lose one of its member due to breast cancer.

 

 

 

Breast Cancer Awareness...My Story: Part 1

 

The noise shattered the night freezing me in the stillness and the blackness of my bedroom. I waited for my ears to wakeup. Silence. It was deafening. What had caused me to wake from a sound sleep? I dared not move for several minutes. Finally, all my senses awakened and I mustered up the courage to tip-toe down the hallway and check on my sleeping daughters. The rhythm of their breathing was music to my ears.

Did I dare turn on the lights to check the rest of the house for a possible intruder? I did. All the windows and doors were still locked. Nothing looked suspicious. I turned on all the outside lights and returned to bed.

After several minutes of lying there, wide awake and totally confused as to what had happened, something reminded me I had not done a breast self-exam in quite sometime. I let my fingers press against my breast, hoping against hope that they would find nothing out of the ordinary. . .

to be continued.

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Challenge: Call 2 people today about Breast Cancer Awareness and share the importance of self exams and mammograms. Ask them to call two other people with the same information. . . and so on and so forth. By the end of today, someone will have heeded a request and within the next few weeks, learn that she has breast cancer. Your call may have saved her life.

1. When did you perform you last breast self-exam?

2. When was your last mammogram? Are you due for another?

3. When should you have your first mammogram?

4. Who are the 2 people you are going to call and ask them these questions?

Since you started reading this, 3 women have been told the news that will change their lives forever. She has breast cancer. One family will lose a member in the next 90 seconds because of breast cancer.

Early detection saves lives.

Link to how to do a self-exam.