Once uponce a time, a very very long time ago, we came home to a missing kitchen. If my memory serves me correctly, I think HansMan's exact words were, "Holy $hi+, someone stole our kitchen." (Actually, they did leave the kitchen sink sitting in the middle of the floor.)
I walked around in a daze for about three daze days, then we left town, thinking that when we returned, everything would be normal. Not. Even when things are normal around here, they aren't.
For awhile, it was a devastating feeling but then thoughts about those people who lost entire homes from Hurricane Sandy came protruding through and I decided things weren't so bad.
Besides, I've always wanted a new kitchen, just not like this. (And all new wood floor and staircase.)
One thing I've learned about contractors, they are notorious for telling you the job will be finished in three days, and three weeks later they're still showing up.
Just tell me it will take three weeks or three months initially, so I don't plan on you showing up again and again and again.
Also, please don't use the words "issue" and "problem" around me anymore. As in, "We have an issue/problem."
That's why I hired you. I don't know how to snake a wire through weight supporting beams and walls.
And, to make matters worse, there are 3 count them t.h.r.e.e.guys namedKevin who are working. I never know if it's workworker Kevin, light builder Kevin, or telelphone man Kevin. Then, there is contractor Brian and wood floor guy, Brian. Could I be any more cornfoosed ? And, Tammy, and Brav, and Cooper, and Jerry the tile people. And, Trent the plumber. And, Clayton and Dietz the electricians. And, Carrie Anne the cabinet designer. And, Les the painter. And, the sheet rocker whose name I don't know. Is it five o'clock yet ?
But, as usual, I digress. Here are the photos. And yes, it's like camping in my own house:

Looking down at the contents of the 'pantry,' dog beds, vacumn, and various items I don't recognize, or care to recognize.

Standing at front door looking through entry and into living area.
Do you like my new floors ? It's called "the cardboard effect.'
If you look closely, you can spot (pun intended) the tell-tale remains of just one of the places Lola Cherry Cola threw up part of the six-pound homemade lasagne she inhaled this week.

Standing in entry looking left into what we call the Barnes & Noble room. That's because we read in there. Notice the 'new floor?' The green carpet went missing !

Standing inside Barnes & Noble room looking through the French doors. Oops. The French doors went missing, too. That will someday be a wall !

Moving on through entry, looking into kitchen. Or what used to be a kitchen.
Yes, those cabinets hanging on the wall will go missing, too. And instead of sitting here writing this post, someone should be down there packing all the dishes that are in those cabinets.

Looking at kitchen towards Barnes & Noble room. That framed-in corner is a future pantry.

Close-up of pantry.

Framed in bi-level bar/counter top. Hans managed to somehow haul in a picnic table from the deck. There is no horizontal surface in this house that is not covered in clutter.

Up close and personal shot of bar. Bar ?

What was once a living area is now a pantry-combo-dog room.

Did I mention clutter ?

Beginning to relish this no-furniture-look. If there's no furniture, there's nothing to dust. If there's no dusting, there's more time to play.

Did someone mention clutter ?

So, we'll end with Lola's artwork. Just imagine a pile of ricotta, parmesan, provolone, mozzarella, sausage, turkey, and more sausage, noodles, and lots and lots and lots of spaghetti sauce. This was NOT the only example of her artwork.
The tentative completion of tile foor is May 8.
The tentative completion of the wood floor is May 24
The tentative install date for the cabinets is May 28.
The tentataive return of furniture is May 30.
The exact date of arrival of youngest daughter's family, whether anything is finished or not, is June 3.
That's all that really matters.