I love Target. (pronounced Tar-jhay)
Within 37 minutes, here's what happened:
I went there to buy my little cousin a birthday present and was delighted to see there weren't many people in the store. After choosing his gift, I headed to the checkout. Even though there were only two lanes open, there was only one gal ahead of me in the lane that I chose. (Murphy's law: I will always choose the slowest lane.) (Advice: Never get in line behind me. )
As I pulled up behind her basket, I noticed she had an inordinate amount of baby outfits. She had them hanging off the basket, off her fingers, and a few in the basket.
This didn't appear to be a problem until I realized she was deciding which ones to buy . . . while checking out.
Her four-year-old was with her, helping to make the decisions.
Here's the conversation:
Mom: Do you like the one with the bow or the ruffles?
4YO: Ruffles
Mom: I like the bow. (She hands ruffles to clerk for the discard pile. )
Mom: This one's cute. Do you like it ?
4YO: Yeah, but I like the ruffles. (She starts digging through the ones in the basket and hands about 3 to the clerk, rejecting them.)
Mom: Do you like this pink one or the yellow one ?
4YO: I like the ruffles.
Mom: Oh, this one is darling.
4YO: Uh-huh. I like the ruffles. (She hands a couple more or eight to the clerk.)
By this time, I'm checking out the line at the other lane wondering whether to head that direction because the birthday party has started by now.
Mom: Oh, I just can't make up my mind. (She looks my direction.) (Advice: Don't ever make eye contact with me when you've slightly caused some distress in my life.)
Me: I'm with the kid. I like the red ruffles. (In maybe a slightly sarcastic tone. Maybe. Slightly.)
Mom to clerk: OK, can you dig through there and find the one with the ruffles. That's the ONE I'll buy.
Me to myself: Are you kidding me ? One ? Out of FIFTY ? I should have offered my opinion earlier and been out of here 15 minutes ago.
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I check out with my bag of 80 mega blocks and 5 gallons of bubbles. By this time, I'm already late for the birthday party, and I'm feeling the need for some caffeine. There's just a touch of a headache appearing above my left eye. So, I head to the Starbucks counter located inside Tar-jhay.
In my pocket, I find 4 one-dollar bills and some change. Perfect. The GRANDE (not the VENTI) coffee frapuccino costs $3.75.
I order. The gal looks at me and says, and I quote, "That'll be four dollars and eighty-five cents."
I gulp. I look at my money (not close to that amount), then I look at the gal and ask, "Are you telling me that there is a dollar and ten cents tax on three dollars and seventy-five cents?"
She says. Yes.
I say. No.
She says. Oh. Ok. You owe four dollars and four cents.
I wonder to myself: How often does this happen and the customer just pays whatever the gal says?
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I proceed to take several large gulps of the caffeinated concoction. Brain Freeze ! Forget the headache. My entire head is throbbing now. Maybe a couple of my toes, too.
I load my blocks and bubbles into the truck and start backing out of my parking space. You know the feeling. The fear that someone across the way is backing out, too, and the rear ends of both vehicles will make contact with each other.
So, with that being said, I am very carefully watching to make sure no one else is backing out in my direction.
It is at this moment I catch in my rear view mirror what appears to be several 'girls' (not vehicles) approaching my bumper as I am moving in reverse.
I turn around to look directly at them. All three have their cell phones and appear to be texting. Either that or they are taking photos of their feet. None of them have a clue they are about to run into the back of my truck.
So, I just sit there to see if they will.
Had one of the gals not looked up, I have no doubt they would have.
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Just a little excerpt of my life and shopping at Tar-jhay.
So exciting.
