Anecdotes, Antidotes, and Anodes

Quirky, Quirkier, Quirkiest !

Hop on over to Chaotic Lisa's Place for more Fun Monday participants.

Here's what's going on in the mind of Lisa concerning our "assignment" for today:

"A quirk is defined as a peculiarity of action, behavior, or personality; mannerism. We are all unique individuals, having quirks that help make us who we are. I would like to know what your quirks are. Confess to one, confess to ten, you decide. Just come back Monday ready to spill the beans, the rest of the world may look at you like you are from Mars, but you‘re among friends here. We won’t laugh, in fact that eccentricity just may endear you to us more."

One of the most frequently asked questions I receive when there is a post about Naval Aviators, is "How do they get their call signs?"  So, today, I've randomly chosen three Navy pilots and will try to answer that question about their call signs. And yes, I do plan to follow the rules today and talk about quirks just like Lisa asked us to do...eventually.

Left to Right:   Crash, Wipes, and Roto.

We'll start with "Roto." Many times a call sign is combined with either the first name or last name to complete a phrase or name. I'll let you guess "Roto's" last name.  Be creative. Whoever guesses it and spells it correctly wins something from Swampy's garage. (Friends and family of Roto are eligible to win, too.)

Next is "Wipes."  This one could qualify as a QUIRK, I think. He is what one might describe as being "hygienically correct." On cruise, one-ply paper is just not to his liking, so he brings his own.

And last but certainly not least is "Crash."  Sometimes a pilot's incidents will determine a call sign. Don't worry. This call sign has nothing to do with the crash of a jet. You would think that someone who has the ability to fly a multi-millon dollar EA-6B Prowler could successfully maneuver his vehicle out of his garage. Not. Seems Crash's garage door obstructed his path during a departure one morning.

Just for the heck of it, here are just a few of my many, many quirks:  

I.  all my towels have to be folded
    A. and placed in the linen closet 
        1. stacked facing the same direction

II. toilet paper must hang OVER 
   A. any other way is just not right  

III.  it bothers me to hear, "This show was taped in front of a LIVE audience." 
     A. as opposed to a DEAD one?

IV.  I'm quirky about
     A. those with poor situational awareness
         1. I don't have poor situational awareness
            a. I have none
     B. bloggers who don't follow Fun Monday rules
         1. this was included just to see if you are still reading
     C. parents who don't make their kids behave

V. all my clothes must hang the same direction
     A. if they're on the floor, they must be placed in the same pile

VI. I do not like to listen to music while placed on hold (especially Michigan's fight song)
     A. I do not like to be placed on hold PERIOD !

VII.  a quirky philosophy of mine is "Lead, follow, or get the he++ out of my way."

VIII. on trash day, E.V.E.R.Y. piece of trash must be in the trash can and at the street

IX.  I like to push AnodeMan's buttons
     A. it makes his bald head sweat

X. I cannot survive
    A. without
    B. making lists
        1. preferably 
        2. in outline
           a. form

Stay tuned for the next post that tells the story of one young man who's "name" went from Brian to Woody to Critter to Rabies in less than four (4) hours yesterday morning complete with photos of his medal pinning.

Other posts this week will be "Fun Things That Came in the Mail"...from New Zealand and Texas, both of which are foreign countries. (Melissa, you made my day !)

And finally, a thank you to Crash, Wipes, Roto, (VAQ-140) and all their families at Whidbey Island. They will go on cruise again in February. Fly Safe, Young Men !

New "Joy-Zee" Couple Found in Colorado

Some of you may have read comments that have randomly appeared from a person named "Blackheart."  ALL of Blackheart's comments come with a post that has to do with scenes of Colorado.The last such comment was a 'warning' ..."The Eastern relatives are on the way. I suggest you circle the wagons or head for the hills."

This post is to assure all their family and friends back in the Garbage* Garden State they are doing well in the High Desert of Colorado. In fact, they not only are enjoying this part of the country, they have purchased a part of this country and will be moving here in the not-so-distant-future. (My apologies to NJ residents. That's not what I call your state. That's what SOMEONE else refers to it as. So, no hate mail, ok? )

Blackheart and Company have been spotted, and I just happened to have my camera with me to prove they are here and doing quite well.

Blackheart ! Blackheart ! Where are you?  Cousin J was last seen in the company of three Prowler Boys from Whidbey Island and a Boxer...headed to Country Jam.

...to be continued.

...and I have gas ! --RoseAnne RoseAnna-Dana

When asked, "So, how are things with you?"...Roseanne Roseanna-Dana replied:

"I'm depressed, my face broke out, I'm nauseous, I'm constipated, my feet swell, my gums are bleeding, my sinuses are clogged, I have heartburn, I'm cranky, and I have gas."

I'm all that plus this:

Actually, my right eye looks pretty good in this photo. At one point, it was glued shut with eye boogers, more swollen, and much, much redder. I still can't figure out how the sandpaper was installed under my eye lid without me knowing it. One minute, I'm fine, the next minute it feels like a thousand little ants are marching back and forth across my eye...stinging me as they go.

Oh, well. I guess it could be worse. I might look like this:

"Things will get worse before they gets worse."     ---Anode Man

Please Excuse Me While I Blow a Fuse

   

If you aren't in the mood to listen to me rant and rave, run. Run away quickly. Now, I've warned you, so if you keep reading, it's not my fault that you've wasted about five minutes of your day.

This rant has to do with the suitcase you see to the right. Well, it's more of a carry-on, but no matter what it's called, it is the topic of this post. Actually, theHansMan (aka: Swamp Drainer and Anode Man) is the topic of this post.

I shall preface this rant with a brief history of one of theHansMan's pet peeves. He has many. This is one of them.  He travels a lot which requires that his clothes be placed in something. He has been known to pack using plastic bags and ice chests.

We have a large assortment of random pieces of luggage. Most of which are missing wheels, handles, and those thingys you grab to open and close a zipper. I do not care to have these lovely items strewn around my house. We have a closet for them. That closet is downstairs. And when I say downstairs, I mean DOWNstairs in the basement. There is also a closet upstairs that houses several pieces of luggage which makes it handier to retrieve them when one does not want to go DOWNstairs. But, since we've had company using that closet the last few weeks, I removed the luggage to make room for our guests so they didn't have to do high jumps over them.

If you are still reading, I'm sorry. (Insert **yawn**here.)

theHansMan has on many occasions reprimanded me for taking all the luggage DOWNstairs. He would rather line the pieces up in the hallway upstairs to keep it handy. None of the luggage matches my furniture, so that is not an option. It must be housed out of sight somewhere. Having to go DOWNstairs to get a piece of luggage will morph him into a funk-pout. So much of a funk-pout, I always offer to go DOWNstairs and fetch it for him. Thus, keeping him in a fairly good mood. Have I mentioned that he has no cartilage in his knees?

In other words, if I'm not going to allow him to display our luggage collection in plain sight, and if I fail to keep a few pieces in the upstairs closet, then I will gladly go get him a suitcase. No problem. I need the exercise. I have counted the stairs. There are twenty-eight of them.

Fast forward to yesterday morning. It's 1:00 a.m. I have just finished a project and head to bed. It sounds like a chain saw has gotten loose in our bedroom and is trying to escape. I choose to sleep in the guest room. The room with the closet that I keep the extra luggage in but has no luggage in it because I took it DOWNstairs because we had company.

Fast forward to 4:00 a.m. I hear someone rummaging around in that closet. I hear someone grumble, "I travel half my life...I need a  _____ing suitcase. (expletive deleted)

My feet hit the floor running because I know that at 4:00 in the morning one of his funk-pouts will only progress into a full-blown case of crotchety-crabby-mad-a$$. 

"Do you want me to go get you a suitcase?" I yawn.

"Grumble, grumble, groan, gritch..."he mumbles something undecipherable.

A few minutes later, I gently place the suitcase on the bed throw through the suitcase through door and head back to bed. After all, it was my fault that the suitcases weren't in the UPstairs closet.

He leaves.

Fast forward to 7:00 p.m. I walk into our bedroom and guess what I see? Yup. You guessed it. That carry-on you saw at the beginning of this rant. The one he used three days ago from another trip.

Fast forward to 7:01 p.m. Phone call goes something like this:

Me:  Hey. Remember waking me up at 4:00 this morning to go get you a suitcase?

Him: Huh?

Me: You heard me. I didn't stutter.

Him: Yeah.

Me: Why didn't you use the suitcase that was in our bedroom?

Him: I didn't see it.

Me: How could you not see it? You had to have tripped over it to get out of bed !

Him: It was dark.

Me: Those little switches on the wall? You know ? If you flip them up, a light comes on just like magic.

Him: I didn't want to wake you up.

Me: I wasn't in the room.

Him: Oh. Why weren't you in the room?  Was I snoring again?

Me:  Either that, or the ceiling fan a helicopter was coming in for a landing. You woke me up at 4:00 this morning, slamming crap  things against the wall, growling like a bear that you needed a _____ing suitcase. (expletive deleted again)  I asked if you wanted me to go DOWNstairs and get one for you because I knew there weren't any in that closet you were rummaging around in. You said, "Well, I need one to pack my clothes in."  Why didn't you use the one that was in our bedroom? It was already half-packed.

Him: Huh?  I think I'll be home tonight. I won't need what's in the suitcase anyway.

**house grows dark**
**neighborhood grows dark**
**Swampy blows all the fuses and the breaker box is smokin'**

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Congratulations to Nekked Lizard Lady.  She was my 10,000th commenter.  Please give me suggestions as to what you think she should win.

 

 

 

No words today...but a rant is on it's way tomorrow !

Palisade Peaches

There have been several comments and questions about those delicious Palisade Peaches lately...
"Are the peaches ripe yet?"   "Will you mail me a couple boxes of those peaches?"  "Can we come stay with you and pick peaches?"   and on and on...

Well, there's no doubt. There is nothing like biting into one of those scrumptious, sweet peaches and the juice dripping out the corner of your mouth, down your arm, and off your elbow.  Even if you don't like peaches, you would enjoy one of these. Maybe a warm peach cobbler with a scoop of homemade peach ice cream, a frosty cold peach daiquiri, or just a plain 'ole peach. Like I say, "Nothin' like a Palisade peach."

For now, here's the best I can do for those of you interested in them...

OK ! OK !  So those aren't peaches...those are hard, green apples, and each one of them has at least one wriggly worm in it. If you look closely, you can see a worm hole in one of them. What worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Finding half a worm in your apple !

Any connoisseur of peaches knows those aren't peaches. They may look like peaches but those leaves don't look like peach leaves.  Those are apricots !

Ah Ha ! A peach !  Want a closer look?

There you go. Just imagine biting into a lemon AND a sour pickle at the same time. Make your mouth pucker up? That's what would happen if you bit into that peach. By now, your appetite for peaches may have diminished somewhat.  If not, and you're still wanting peaches, here's a solution...

A dandelion. Better known as a WISH FLOWER !  Now, just place your face close to your computer screen, wish for a peach, and blow...blow...blow !  Did it work?

You say it didn't work?  Here. Let's get a little bit closer to that wish flower.  

Close your eyes, wish for a peach, and blow that wish flower off your screen.  Open your eyes. Did you HEAR me? I said, "OPEN YOUR EYES !"

See ?  You did it. Now. Wasn't this post just peachy?

Remember THIS POST about the peaches last year?

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In reference to questions about yesterday's post:

Hootin' Anni: Here's the photo of my dad's referee shirt you requested.

Jo Beaufoix:  Yes ! That is yours truly on my sidebar.

Rose:  Yes, I wore it for real about 20 years ago to a symphony ball. For the last several years, I have worn it as a costume in the Grand Junction Lions' Club parade as Cruella.

Faye: The special occasion is once a year as Cruella. ( See above)

Lisa's Chaos:  Here are the red p.j.'s.

Nessa:  Here is the Cock-Coon, Butterfly, Crocodile story. Guaranteed to make you smile.

Gattina: I will try to post those pics in the very near future of my two wedding dresses...one of which is much smaller and whiter than the other.

Hula Girl Takes Off Her Clothes

HULA GIRL at HEART has taken all her clothes off and posted them today !!!

Wait ! Wait ! Before you rush over to her place to take a gander, here's what she says about Fun Monday today:

Welcome to this week's Fun Monday. It's my first time hosting, so if I screw this up please let me know so I can fix it. My assignment for you this week was to show us those pieces of clothing you just can't part with, whether you wear them or not. It might be your grandma's vintage wedding dress, a jacket from high school, a t-shirt from an old boyfriend or those jeans you hope to get back into some day. It could be anything. Most of us have something like that we can't seem to throw away. Here are my items and below that are the links for everyone participating in Fun Monday. If I've left someone out, give me a shout. Check out everyone's website and enjoy.......and thanks for participating! If anyone wants to host next week, please let me know.

I truly intended to break the rules today, but decided that following them would be much easier. This is a dress that appears on my blog everyday, so it's imperative that I not part with it...lest I show up 'nekked' on a daily basis.

I will show it to you in bits and pieces...

There were many pieces of clothing in my closet that could have been posted today...my TWO wedding dresses (one of which much smaller and whiter than the other), my dad's referee shirt, some red long-handled p.j.'s with the drop seat, a gray pair of warm-up's with a pink stripe up the legs, numerous t-shirts from my daughters' college days that have sentiments written on the back, now faded and holy holey, a few dresses that my mom made for me... BUT, this is the one that represents ONE of my alter-egos. The one that you know best. Yes, this is my Cruella/Swampwitch attire.
 

Cross Referencing to Other Blogs

OK, after three weeks of having grandkids and with more company on their way, it's just easier to connect you to three of our family blogs for updates on these kiddos.

If you have time to visit and comment, please be sure to tell them SwampGammy sent you.

Tales of a Dethroned Princess

Baby Cakes

The Martin Docudrama

Potty Mouth

Can you hear me?

Can you hear me now?

This is Little Miss P calling all ya'll out there to let you know that my Gammy (aka: Swampy) plans to be blog-visiting soon.

Busy...but taking the time to enjoy the sunrise !

To all of you who continue to visit and comment, THANK YOU.  It is berry, berry busy here and glob-visiting has taken a back seat to many other projects.

BUT, I am still taking the time to enjoy the sunrises from my window, and I wanted to share this one with you.