Anecdotes, Antidotes, and Anodes

What Is Wrong With This Paragraph?

This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so normal and plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it ! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd looking about it. Actually, if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching. And, do not post what you know so that most of us must work at it.
Contact with solution:  swampwitch06atgmaildotcom OR subtly say what you think is unusual without giving solution away

Terza Rima

My trashy friend, Robin was bitten by the poetry bug. This month our assignment is, "Terza rima." What in tarnation is Terza rima?  Sounds like a condition I need to call my gynocologist about. Or perhaps, maybe I should just read Dante's Divina Commedia.

Below, you will find my best effort at Terza rima with a bonus of photos to prove what I've written is the truth. Because, the truth is always spoken here.

My Best Effort at Terza rima:

PACIFIERS and POOTS

Two little grandbabies descended upon us
Neither of whom is much of a crier
So you ask, "Swampy, what's all the fuss?"

The fuss is keeping up with the pacifier
Both babies are precious, two little cuties
Who knew we would find it in the clothes dryer.

Later, checking her diaper, it wasn't just a pootie
What I found there, oh my word
It was more than just spooky.

How that baby produced such a large t _ _ d
Is beyond my imagination
What I witnessed made my eyes blurred.

Lying in that diaper, was it an aberration?
With a clothes pin on my nose
I stand here amazed at her creation !

Believe me, it's in there.

Christmas Cinquain

  Robin, the poet, mentioned at one time something about writing poetry. We started with a Limerick. Somewhere, I think, somehow, I remember something about our next assignment being a Holiday Cinquain, sorta. In researching Cinquain, I find two different sets of rules. (RULES?) !!  I can't even pronounce that word, Cinquain not rules, much less create something that follows detailed rules about the number of words and syllables per line. It would just be easier to rhyme something like...There once was a man from Willowtree...or maybe not...

One set says this: (Modified Cinquain)

Line 1: one word (subject or noun)
Line 2: two words (adjectives that describe line 1)
Line 3: three words (action verbs that relate to line 1)
Line 4: four words (feelings or a complete sentence that relates to line 1)
Line 5: one word (synonym of line 1 or a word that sums it up)

Another set of rules says this: (True Cinquain)

It is an unrhymed poem of 22 syllables.

Line 1: two syllables (1 word title: noun)
Line 2: four syllables (2 descriptive words: adjectives)
Line 3: six syllables (3 words express action)
LIne 4: eight syllables (4 words express feelings)
Line 5: two syllables  (1 word: synonym for line 1)

Is that 22 ?

Now people, I'm all about following the rules. (**insert witch's cackle here**)

But, I've spent so much time researching this, my creative juices have stopped flowing.

This is the best I can do for now:

LIGHTS
Blinking ? ...NOT !
Intertwined ! Tangled ! Knotted !
Where's that ONE bulb ?
__________ !!(one word expletive goes here-synonym for LIGHTS.)

More lights:

There once was a blogger named Robin...

Fog - Carl Sandburg

FOG by Carl Sandburg  1878-1967

The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

Fog on the Colorado National Monument...

FOG by Swampy...(my apologies to Mr. Sandburg)

The fog comes on
giant mountain lion paws.
It sits looking
over the Monument and my house
on silent haunches
and closes down the airport...
...then it moves on...

*****************************************************************************

Thanks to everyone who visited yesterday and especially to those who took the time to comment. It was Monday a.l.l.d.a.y.l.o.n.g. and my list of things to do did not allow time for me to visit many of you. Hopefully, later this week, I'll have time to enjoy your on-ma-nents.

Pensieve's Poetic License

My trashy friend, Robin, has now added poetry to her list of many talents. If you want to know what the following 'limerick' is all about, be sure to clink Robin's link for whole scoop... of Thanksgiving dressing.

There once was a fat little birdie
That John Smith or Christopher Columbus*  dubbed as a turkey
After several sharp whacks
With a very sharp ax
It  was plucked, dried, and made into JERKY.
                         ---Swampwitch  11-07

* I did not have permission to use this link.  I asked for permission, but never heard back from the author.  So, I'll use that old philosophy, "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission."

European Commission Announcement

Remember this post.   Azmanig Raeding ?  Yuo may wnat to pracitce raednig tehere beofre conitnuing raednig here.

My 'cuzin' in Oklahoma sent this to me. Everyone in the World has probably already read it, but just in case you haven't seen it, READ SLOWLY and CAREFULLY:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English."

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c." Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k." This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f." This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling will be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the hiribl mes of the silent "e" in the laguag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the fourth yer, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v."

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil have a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Evrivun have a vunderful day.

That's a Wholenother Story

Having been raised in Southeastern Oklahoma, I came away from there with a distinct dialect  a syrupy drawl. Not to mention, I use many terms and phrases that might seem a bit strange to normal people.
I have had previous posts categorized under Verbal-Linguistic that were just for fun, but today this is a completely serious post.

Your help is needed to clear up an ongoing discussion argument between theHansMan and me.

The disagreement between the two of us is that a certain phrase I use makes no sense at all to him.  Please submit your ideas so that what you say can be tallied and taken under consideration.

I don't know fiddle (if it will) make any difference whether I stop using it or not, but thought it would be interesting to take a poll.  (An entire conversation is recorded at the fiddle-link.)

In predicting a rainstorm, I will say, "Looks like it's going to come a flood. Just look at those ominous rain clouds." 

  Or, after the rainstorm has happened, I will say, "Wow, it came a flood today. Look at all those drowned frogs in the driveway."

Another question:  What is a "wholenother?"  I hear people say things like, "Well, that's a wholenother story."   or  "He had a wholenother opinion."  I've never seen it written, but I hear it used all the time. In fact, I use it all the time.

Here is another discussion argument we have on a regular basis.

So, here are the questions I pose to you:

Have you ever heard or used a phrase similar to, "Looks like it's going to come a flood?" Do you understand it?    Any discussion ?

That's a Wholenother Story

Being raised in the boonies (boondocks) of southeastern Oklahoma dealt me not only a syrupy-slow drawl, but I developed a wholenother vocabulary. The words in this wholenother vocabulary probably cannot be considered colloquialisms. We Okies tend to combine several words into one. A multi-tasking of sorts.

An example:

Hey, jeet yet?

Knowed, shoe?

Yup, and I'm awful.

Translation:

Hey did you eat yet?

No, did you?

Yup, and I'm all full.

With that in mind, enjoy this conversation between two good 'ole fishin' buddies from Oklahoma:

Wad time we leavin' to go fishin' ?

I don't know fiddle be 5:00 or 6:00 inner mornin' .

Wall, just call me annual be ready.

Ascent a note to Billy Bob to bring his waders. Aorta help when we go catfish noodlin' .

Yup. Apparel probably be enough for all of us.

Jew think we'll need campin' gear?

Shore nuff. Better remind Katie Jo to packer tent.

Yup, and bring at big 'ole army blanket.

Uh-huh. She'll need the biggest one so she can get her big asunder it.

Caesars mother's daughter, ain't she?

Wall, I cauterize lookin' yore way at the bar all lass night. I thank she's hot for you.

Yeah, we needle hid dat bargain. There wore some good-lookin' chickens there.

Know wut? I saw lotsa bastards floatin' round dwarf yesterday.

Yeah? Why don't we jest fish thor and forgit 'bout the trip?

Fine by me. Let's go hit the bargain. All buy the first picture of beer.

Do you have any words/sentences for the wholenother vocabulary?  Care to share?

And yes, I have been catfish noodlin' . Do the words "water mocassin" mean anything to you?

******************************************************************

Abstract Snow Art...

RE: Yesterday's Post

1) There were seven (7) deer in the photo.

2)  Poag Mahone means "Kiss My Ass" in Gaelic.

Azmanig Raednig

Cna yuo raed tihs? You mihgt be srupirsed that mnay plepoe can.

I hvae mnetoined mnay tmies abuot bieng lysdexic. Tihs is hwo I tpye adn how wrods look wehn I raed.  You aer porbalby srupirsed taht yuo aer acltulaly albe ot uesdnatnrd waht I am wirting adn taht yuo aer raeding tihs. This porves teh phaonmneal pweor fo the brian. Accrodnig ot rscheearch at srevreal uinervsiteis, it dseno't mtaetr ni waht oerdr teh ltteres in a wrod aer, teh improtnat tihng si taht teh frsit and lsat ltteers be in the rghit pclae. Mnay tmies, wrods wtih olny tow letetrs cna be revresed, adn yuo cna stlil raed teh wrod. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a prolbem. Tihs is bcusease the brian deos not raed ervey lteter by istelf, but the wrod as a wlhoe. Azmanig huh? I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmortant ! Were you albe ot raed tihs? The brian is an azmanig tihng.

Thuohgt you were dzizy raednig taht, warp yuor eyes aruond  this:

200 Letters...Wrong Date

Want to know what happens when you type the wrong date on an announcement, print 200 letters from that announcement, fold 200 letters, put those 200 letters in 200 envelopes, seal those 200 envelopes, address those 200 envelopes, put stamps on those 200 envelopes, and then realize your mistake? (see photo if you don't believe there were really 200 envelopes) First, you print 200 labels, (see photo of those labels-there are 7 pages of those labels) and place them on the envelope hoping the recipients will notice the label that is stuck to the lower left-hand corner of the envelope. Second, you e-mail as many of the recipients you can about the mistake. Third, you start receiving phone messages and   e-mails that go something like this, "Ok, is the date of the meeting Tuesday, November 13 or Friday, November 17?" I guess the good news is that I caught the mistake as I was leaving the house to mail all 200 of the letters, so I would know why so many of the 200 recipients were calling me with a little bit of a disgruntle in their voices. And yes, you can hear 'disgruntle' in an e-mail message,too. If you scroll down to the post 'List Making 303' you will see this project was on a list given to me by Hans. I am just now feeling the ill-effects of that typo. Hopefully, he will think twice about putting something so complicated as this task on a list he makes for me again. If anyone out there wants to give me a "honey-do" list, please feel free to send it my way. I will do everything possible I can to screw it up.

Sincerely submitted by: Swampy   <:) 

(That's a witch lying down, resting and smiling.)