Anecdotes, Antidotes, and Anodes

You Know You're Old If You Remember . . . (Mercury Fillings)

We've seen these posted on Facebook or received them as e-mails:

You know you're old if you remember:

When we listened to music from 8-track tapes. (Boom Boxes)

When we watched "Lawrence Welk" every Sunday evening.

When "Leave It To Beaver" was a first-run show.

When the family car was a station wagon with wood grain side panels and no seat belts.

When soda pop was in glass bottles and cost a dime !

When your telephone number was two long rings and a short ring! LOL

When you could listen to other peoples phone conversations because you were on a party line.

When you had to get up to change the black and white t.v. channel by turning the antenna with a pipe wrench.

And on . . . and on . . . and on . . .

You're also fairly old if you know what mercury fillings are, better known as amalgams.

Back in Antlers, Oklahoma, our town dentist was Dr. Witherspoon.  I can still see those huge needles in glass bottles staring at me as I sat in that dentist chair surrounded by spit sinks and all kinds of machinery hanging above my head.

It was during those days that fillings were made of mercury and other metals.

These days, there is much disagreement about whether these type of fillings can cause health problems.

But, from most everything I've read, the two mercury fillings that still remain in my head could be one of the reasons for my migraines.

Or should I say, the two that WERE in my head . . .

Yup. Got 'em drilled out today. Of course, they were on opposite sides of my head which meant being numbed with two different shots.

Bless his heart, my sweet dentist who looks like he's not old enough to have a driver's license knows how apprehensive I am about those shots.  (See paragraph above about Dr. Witherspoon.)

Because during the procedure of removing alamgams,  the patient breathes oxygen during the amalgam removal so as not to inhale the 'mercury dust,' my dentist asked if I would like to have nitrous oxide.

Knowing that I am more than just a bit tense during dental procedures, and since I was going to be breathing oxygen anyway, the 'sweet air' could be filtered in.

At this point, the title of my post changes to:

"To Infinity and Beyond !"

I've never had Nitrous Oxide . . . Laughing Gas . . . Sweet Air !

But, I did ask my dentist if I could just sit in the chair after the procedure and remain hooked up to the oxygen tank.

He laughed and said no.

Then I asked if I could get a prescription for it.

He laughed again and said no.

Regardless if removing the amalgams will help alleviate my migraines, my latest experience in the dentist office was a memorable one.

At least I think it was.

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If you are interested in the studies about amalgums, here are two links that give information about that subject from the Internation Academy of Oral Medicine and Toxicology:

The Scientific Case Against Amalgam

The Toxic Effects of the Mercury in Dental Amalgam Fillings

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Thank you Dr. Christopher Lepisto for all your guidance.

Life is good !

 

Doctor or Spa ?

It all started when I tried to do a leap-frog-type-maneuver over June Bug so as not to fall on top of her.

She came out unscathed, maybe a bit startled, but my acrobatics saved her.

As for me, I came out with a broken toe and sprained wrist.

At the time, I didn't realize the condition of my toe.  Only knew that it cracked like when you crack your knuckles.  Evidently, it cracked like when you break something.

During the night, my  heart must have moved from my chest into my toe because it seemed to be beating there.  Visualize those cartoons of a throbbing thumb.  That would be my toe.

It  is my understanding that's there's not much that can be done for a broken toe.  The doctor can't cast it.

So, by the looks of these toenails, it would probably be time better spend at the spa having a pedicure.

Where would you go ?  Doctor ?  Spa ?

 

Eyelash Extensions

Several years ago Twenty years ago, I found myself missing my hair, and my eyelashes, and my eyebrows.

If you've been reading here for awhile, you know what happened.

If you don't know what happened, all I have to say is EARLY DETECTION SAVES LIVES.   Now, go do a self breast exam or schedule a mammogram if you need one.  If you don't know whether you need one or not, call a doctor and find out NOW.

With that being said, let's get back to eyelash extensions.

I have three words to say:  DON'T DO IT !

My eyelashes were sparse even before the chemotherapy made them fall out all on the same day.  And, when they grew back, they were even 'sparser.' 

They even started growing in all the wrong places.  Like my chin !

So, last year I decided to splurge and have eyelash extensions.

Big mistake !

Oh, they looked great.

For about a week.

Then the fake eyelashes that they glued individually to each of my approximately 20 real eyelashes started falling off.

And each of those fake eyelashes seemed to take the real eyelash it was glued to with it.

Or at least the fake eyelash caused my real eyelash to break off.

What I'm trying to say, if anyone out there is considering doing this, DON'T !

 

Peacock Alley

There are very few things more exciting than to receive a box in the mail and not have a clue where it came from, who it came from, or what is in it . . .

. . . that excitement you had as a child opening a birthday or Christmas gift that makes your ears ring and your teeth hurt and your eyes water.  (That same feeling you have after you drink too much coffee and need to go to the restroom...really, really bad.)

That same kind of excitement overtook me the other day when a medium-sized box mysteriously appeared on my desk.

Upon closer inspection of the return address, part of the mystery unraveled.

Ah-Ha !   My cousin in Dallas . . .

You know what a cousin is ?

A cousin is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost, a childhood playmate who grows up to be a forever friend, a different beautiful flower from the same garden . . .

Now, don't get me wrong . . . there may be a couple of my cousins, who,  if I received a box from them, I would probably check to see if the box was ticking !

But, not this cousin !

He knows me well . . .

OK. So, this part of the gift is for theHansMan, too. 

But,  I'm the one who appreciates something like HIGH THREAD COUNT sheets.

Exquisite !

But, there was also something in the box just for me . . .

Anytime we stay at a Motel 6 or Super 8, I am always tempted to accidentally take the luxurious waffle-weave robes. 

But, this never happens because:
#1  Motel 6 and Super 8 never have robes . . . they barely have towels.
#2 The only thing I ever take from a motel room is the soap/shampoo/conditioner.

My new robe has become my favorite piece of clothing.

I'm sure the neighbors are happy to see me in something besides my "Debra-the-Zebra" pajamas while taking the trash out.

With a brightly colored scarf and heels, it would probably be appropriate attire for the grocery store.

Now, if you would like to receive a box full of 'warm fuzzies,' it's as simple as this:

PEACOCK ALLEY (clink the link). 

It's totally relaxing just perusing their web-site.

 

Just Sayin'

For the last week, there has been ample time to let my mind wander wonder wander.

The topics are random.  Imagine. Randomness here !

In my attempt to 'organize' random, I have categorized my thoughts.

Pet Peeves:
  For instance, these beauty pageants for kids.  Not so much the pageants, but the Moms.  What are these mothers thinking ?  Annoyed doesn't even begin to describe how I feel when just seeing a promo for one of those shows.  No, I don't watch them.  And then there's a show called Dance Moms.   Out of curiosity, I watched for about 3 minutes before my blood pressure shot straight  to the ceiling and I feared for my TV that I might just shoot it.  Is this person for real ?  What kind of parent would pay to  subject their little girl to this kind of abuse from a person monster named Abby Lee Miller ?  There should be an episode showing her in one of the tutus.  No. No. Someone should charge her with child abuse. 

Another pet peeve of mine is dogs dressed in clothing.  Now, I understand the need for those sweaters to keep the animal warm.  The sweater  has a purpose.  What is the purpose of dressing a dog in a tutu or putting a wig on your dog ?  Really people?  I just have to wonder what the dog is thinking...  "Does this blue tutu make my butt look big ?" "Maybe the pink wig wouldn't make my eyes so buggy-looking. "

Political Ads !  When is the Presidential election ?  November 6, 2012.  That's approximately 230 days give or take a week or two. Next question:  How many political ads will be aired between now and then ?  How much money will be spent on this propaganda ?  If the candidates applied  all that money to our deficit, it would bring it down considerably. There should be a law concering these ads.   Actually, there should be several of them, but one should say something like:  No candidate can mention his opponent's name, elude to his opponent in any way, shape, form, or fashion.  The End.

Situational Awareness:
I spend an enormous amount of time in airports, and I people watch.  It helps to pass the time.  But, it never ceases to amaze me that some people think their coats, carry ons, backpacks, etc. have a need to 'sit' in a chair.  Most waiting areas in airports don't have enough seats for everyone anyway, but when I see people standing because one-fourth of the chairs have stuff in them, I just seethe. Especially when I'm one of the ones standing.  Well, that's not exactly true because I never hesitate to ask if it would be possible for the backpack to sit in the floor.

While we're on the subject of traveling, another example of S.A. is the people who stand in the aisle of the plane, take off their coats, dig in their carryons they've placed in the overhead, dawdle around while 100 of us wait either in the jetway (if we're lucky to have a covered one) or outside the plane waiting in sub-freezing temperatures with our hair about to blow off our heads while these people do what-ever-it-is-they're-doing-which-should-have-been-done-earlier.

Warm Fuzzies:
Thinking about funny things my grandkids do. 

For instance, while visiting them in Okrahoma, my glasses had been misplaced.  Imagine that !  Just in passing, it was mentioned, "If anyone sees my glasses, please tell me."  This was met with a very adamant six-year old, standing with feet apart, hand on hips, with a very stern voice, who said, "Gammy, it's not MY job to keep up with YOUR stuff."

Ok, then. 
Pretty obvious she's heard these words before.

Then there's the story about her two-year-old brother.  Mom noticed he was on the futon, almost asleep.  So, when the gutter guys came to the door to ask some questions, she just stepped out onto the front porch to show them what to do.  As she was doing this, she heard the door close behind her.  And lock.   She immediately asked one of the guys if he had cell phone on him, which he did.  She called my son-in-law who works about three minutes from the house to hurry home with the garage door opener.  In the meantime, she peeked through the window at the top of the door.  This is what she saw:   BabyDubYa, dressed only in a diaper and a rabbit fur hat on his head,  wielding a three foot long sponge sword, running back and forth through the entry yelling,
"ARRRR ! I a pie-wat.  ARRRR,  I a pie-wat."

Miscellaneous:
Just not sure how to categorize these.  Maybe:  Buffoons Making the News.

New Orleans Saints players and at least one assistant coach maintained a bounty pool of up to $50,000 the last three seasons to reward game-ending injuries inflicted on opposing players, including Brett Favre and Kurt Warner, the NFL said Friday. "Knockouts" were worth $1,500 and "cart-offs" $1,000, with payments doubled or tripled for the playoffs.  The NFL said the pool amounts reached a height of $50,000 or more in 2009, the year the Saints won the Super Bowl.
Reports indicate that Gregg Williams, former defensive coordinator, was 'in charge' of the bounty.  My thought is he should banned from the NFL for coordinating such egregious acts.   Do you have a thought ?  What is it ?  My other thought is that this probably isn't the only team doing this.

Moving on to this Bozo, the person who thinks if you used or use a contraception as a single woman you are a slut and possibly a prostitute. Wasn't it Rush Limbaugh who was caught returning from the Dominican Republic with illegally obtained Viagra. But, he doesn't really mind, he just wants to view the videos if the sluts and prostitutes have them. 

aHansMan Story
No post of this nature would be complete without aHansMan Story.  It will be cryptic, so just read between the lines.

Made an unexpected trip to Okrahoma for a funeral service.  The date for the service was very close to another function happening there that we both agreed I should attend.   So, theHansMan booked my flight.  The conversation went something like this:

Me:  Did you book the flight ? 

Him:  Yes.  You'll be coming home the morning of  Thursday, February 23.

Fast Forward to Wednesday, February 22.

My daughter and I are out running errands.  I'm driving, so I ask her to be sure and check the location of the awards ceremony.

She does.   Here's the conversation:

Her:  Yup. It's at the Hilton Garden Inn.

Me:  Good

Her:  But it's on the 23rd.

Me:  What's today ?

Her:  The 22nd

Me:  Are you sure ?

Her:  And tomorrow is the 23rd !

Me:  But theHansMan booked my flight for 9:00 a.m. on the 23rd.  How does he expect me to attend the awards ceremony if it's tomorrow night ?

Her:  Er, your guess is as good as mine?

Next phone conversation:

Me:  Hey.  What's today ?

Him:  Wednesday, the 22nd.

Me:  What's tomorrow ?

Him:  Thursday, the 23rd

Me:  When do I fly home ?

Him:  In the morning.

Me:  When is Becky's award presentation ?

Him:   Tomorrow night.

I waited for something to connect . . . Earth to Hans ? 

Me:  How am I going to attend the ceremony tomorrow NIGHT if I'm on a plane home tomorrow MORNING ?

Him:  I didn't know you wanted to go to the ceremony.

DEAD SILENCE

Me:  Do you remember the conversation we had when we discussed my return date ?

Him:  Uh-huh.

Me:  Do you remember us agreeing it would be fun for me to go ?

Him:  Uh-huh.

Me:  Do you remember me telling you I called Allied Arts asking if I could buy a ticket even though the deadline had passed for making a reservation ?

Him:  Uh-huh.

Me:  Do you remember me telling you I even made a donation because the director said I could have a seat at Becky's table ?

Him:  Uh-huh.

DEAD SILENCE

 You can write the ending to this one yourself. 

Makes me tired just thinking about. 

And, I know, you're probably thinking, "Why don't YOU make your OWN reservations."

My answer is, "It's more fun this way."

Catalog Choice

There was a time in my life when catalogs in the mail were fun to receive.   I was almost as excited as Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin ~ The Jerk ) was when the phone books arrived.  That was when I was living in the boondocks of southeastern Oklahoma (I say that in a proud way) and the closest place to go shopping was Paris. 

Oh, you're thinking Paris, France.  Nope.  Paris, Texas !

I sat and drooled over every page but very seldom ordered anything. 

My catalogs were stored in a basket.  In alphabetical order.  When a new one arrived, the old one was tossed and replaced with the latest issue.  The collection probably contained maybe twenty or twenty-five catalogs.

This has totally gotten out of hand. 

Evidently, I've ordered enough times,  and obviously from the catalogs that perhaps 'have shared' my name with a thousand or three more catalogs

While we were away from home for almost a month, the mail piled up.

So did the catalogs . . .

Just in case you can't see how many inches of catalogs arrived . . .
here's a closer view . . .

Fourteen inches of wasted paper . . . trees that have been cut down and gone forever.

In this day and time of The Internet, shopping is at my finger tips.  Literally.

I don't need these catalogs anymore !

What's a person to do ?

The solution is simple !

CATALOG CHOICE 

This link will take you to a site that allows you to cancel "your subscription" to most catalogs.

I spent TWO hours yesterday cancelling all the catalogs pictured above.  It might take a couple of months for my request to be honored, but eventually this stack of wasted paper will diminish.

The service is free.  Just think . . . if everyone who reads this post will cancel their catalogs, together we can save an entire forest of trees. 

Now, please excuse me while I drag all these catalogs to the re-cycle bin.

 

Catalog Choice

You can imagine my surprise yesterday when I received a comment on my Nuts On-Line post from someone at CATALOG CHOICE.

A real, live, breathing person from that organization found The Asylum my blog and took the time to comment.

Thanks for using Catalog Choice and for your positive feedback! I help manage the service and I can tell you that we are working very hard to make this effort a success. Thanks for spreading the word!     APRIL

Of course, I just couldn't resist replying back to her and asking how in the world did she end up at The Asylum my blog.  I explained that when I would click, click, click away declining catalogs and saving trees and postage that I really didn't think about a "real live breathing human" working behind the scenes.

She responded:

I  subscribe to Google alerts -- they send me all notices about Catalog Choice (I'm the project manager).  Your blog was at the top of the list (see below).  We like to comment and stay connected with blogs.  We have more than 40,000 links to them.  Many catalog mailers track these blogs too.  This is a really effective way to keep spreading the word about the service.  And it is free.  So thank you! 

It has been a huge struggle to get broad acceptance by the catalog industry.  I do lots of the corporate outreach.  We are making huge progress, so it is nice to know that the service is working.  We still have a long way to go.  And we love to hear from our members.   Feel free to comment on our blog any time. 

  

Yes -- real live person.  I'm a mom, working from home in rural Vermont! 

 

Best,

April

 

Now, please understand, in addition to saving trees, I did have another motive for declining these catalogs. SAVING MY SANITY...what's left of it ! The amount of catalogs I was receiving on a daily basis was driving me crazy crazier.  Those of you who have read here for some time have probably figured out that I'm a wee bit anal/retentive/obessive/complusive. Who knew?  So, when those catalogs would arrive by the truck load, I would haul them upstairs and proceed to try to peruse through all of them in search of some item I might not be able to live without. This became an impossible task because there are just not enough hours in the day to do this.  I would methodically file ALL of them alphabetically, trashing the out-of-date catalog and replacing it with the new one. One day last year it occured to me as I was dragging a trash can loaded with catalogs that weighed no less than FIFTY pounds to the street, "This is such a waste!"

 

I high-tailed it back to my computer and Googled "unwanted catalogs."  CATALOG CHOICE came up and I subscribed immediately. It's Free !

 

Do the trees a favor. Check into this. Believe me. It's feels good to click on "DECLINE."

 

Proof:

 

 

These are just a few of the catalogs that I no longer receive, thanks to Catalog Choice.

 

 

 

Bedtime reading material...

 

 

 

Yes, these are in alphabetical order !

 

 

Lysol Cling: Toilet Bowl Cleaner

Lysol Cling: Toilet Bowl Cleaner.  I bought a case of this stuff.  I can't open the bottles. I've tried all six (6) of them. I need a child to help me. The cap is witch-resistant !

Directions for Use:  (written in font smaller than this):

To Open Child Resistant Cap:

Place bottle on flat, horizontal surface. Avoid squeezing bottle when opening. With one hand grasp bottle firmly near top. With the other hand while pushing cap down, turn cap counterclockwise. Do not squeeze bottle To reseal, twist cap until tight closed.

Yeah, Right! All I want to do is clean the commode, and I can't open the
@!#%@#%! bottle !

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REMINDER: There's a Party Goin' On. Check out yesterday's post for the info.
Be There or Be Square !

Top Ten Things I've Learned About Blogging

BLOGGING CHICKS CARNIVAL 

Top Ten Things I've Learned NOT to Post on My Blog:

10. Stay Away From Politics !

Do NOT try to predict who might be our next President.

9.  Do not insinuate that certain Presidents are clowns.

8. Do not threaten people who never comment.

7. Do not try to sell your cat on your blog !

6. Do not try to start your own dating service on your blog.

5. Do not post pictures of what you turned your ex-boyfriends and husband into.

Remember, I AM a witch.

4. Do not post pictures of your current husband after his visit to Trinidad, Colorado, the sex-change capital of the world.

3. Do not post pictures of a Menage-de-Twa on your blog.

2. Do not post diagrams like this, survey your readers as to which is the male brain and which is the female brain, and expect your male readers to like you. (You will be accused of being a misandrist.)

And the #1 thing I've learned not to post on my blog...

A picture of Grandma in a Thong...

Any other ideas of what NOT to post on your Blog / Glob ?

Be sure to check out, Erik - The Electronic Firefly for what's going on with Fun Monday tomorrow.