Watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is always on our list of things to do every holiday season . . . at least three times.
theHansMan bears an uncanny resemblance to Clark, not only in looks but especially in actions. Just ask anyone who has ever gone on a road trip with him. You are reminded of geometry class where you learned, "The longest distance between two points is a short cut."
Having been married to this man for eighteen-some-odd-years, mostly odd, I've found myself living in a National Lampoon movie. There have been numerous occasions while being lost in a vehicle with him that someone announces, "Look kids ! Big Ben . . . House of Parliament !"
So, without further ado . . .
Drum roll please . . .
Our 2012 Christmas greeting to you:
(Please note that theHansMan aka: Clark aka: Sparky, is decked out in his Christmas finery . . . an authentic Chicago Bears cap, a Grizwold green vest, and plaid flannel shirt.)
Here is our Christmas song to you sung to the tune of
Christmas tree lights, holiday lights. Hung in tangled-up style.
In the air there's a feeling of tension. Hansie's frowning, Kathy's stressing.
Is there reason to smile? During these times at our house you'll hear.
Hang them here. No not there. It's Christmas time at the Schmoldt House.
Plug them in. They don't work. Soon it will be Christmas Day.
Lots of eggnog, in a moose cup, should relax our tensed nerves.
As three Boxers would like a sip, too. Lola's whining. Ginger's howling.
June Bug growls at them both. And above all the barking you'll hear.
Take them down. No, I won't. It's Christmas time at the Schmoldt House.
They look great. No, they don't. Soon it will be Christmas Day.
We have finished, with the lighting.
Now it's time to relax. In the air there's a scent of wires burning.
What do I smell ? Alarms are blaring. There is smoke in the air.
As the lights catch on fire outside.
Grab the hose. Call 9-1-1. It's Christmas time at the Schmoldt House.
I told you so. It's not my fault. Soon it will be Christmas Day.