Anecdotes, Antidotes, and Anodes

Travelogue. . . continued

Traveling with HansMan and three Boxers can be somewhat, u-m-m-m-m, how shall I say, STRESSFUL ?

Most of the miles are quite enjoyable, but there are those miles, such as when I act as navigator and he acts as driver, that become almost unbearable.  

Like the miles when we are looking for a La Quinta in Slidell, Louisiana.  At night.  (That's supposed to be next door to Sam's Club.)

Part of the problem is with me. (I know that statement surprises you.)  I have no, none, not any visual-spatial intelligence.  When using a GPS gadget, I don't use the map, I use the "LIST." 

The rest of the problem is with HansMan.  He doesn't pay any attention to signs along the way, and for the most part, he doesn't pay any attention to me.

So, when we passed Exit 50 for the La Quinta, well, that was BOTH our faults.  We were so absorbed in listening to the "Steve Jobs" story blaring through our speakers, neither of us noticed.

That blunder took us a few miles down the road until we noticed we were east of the 'red flag' on the GPS map.  At that point, I turned up the volume on the "audible" GPS, and the lady in the box was squawking, "recalculating."

After speaking with Pam, the desk clerk at La Quinta, she advised us to program in the address for  Sam's Club.  This is because the motel had just opened, and its address on Holiday Road wouldn't be recognized by the GPS.  She further noted that if we typed in La Quinta on the GPS, a flag would pop up in a residential area that was "Holiday Drive"  So, that if we typed in Sam's Club address, we would end up at the motel, as it was next door. 

I explained this to HansMan as we backtracked to Exit 50 off the Interstate.  Well, at least I TRIED to explain it to him.

As we took the exit and looped around to the south, the lady in the GPS said very plainly, "Destination is on the RIGHT !"

I very plainly said, "Turn right." 

He very plainly asked, "Why ?"

Me:  Because the motel is over there.  (It was a bit off the main road, nestled out of sight, on an access road called Holiday.)

Him:  No, you typed in  the address for Sam's in the GPS.

Me:  I know, but La Quinta is next door to Sam's.

Him:  Did you SEE Sam's ?  (As he kept driving.)

Me:  No, but I saw a Walmart sign.

Lady in Box:  Recalculating.  Recalculating.  Do a U-Turn.

After several "exchanges," I realized it was going to do no good to tell him one more time, he was headed in the wrong direction.  That the La Quinta was, 'back there.'

This is where he took over the job of navigator and programmed  La Quinta into his iPhone and proceeded to show me the flag on Holiday Drive and also the location of another La Quinta, which was probably our motel.

This is where I stopped talking.  For a few minutes.

We drove for about ten minutes in the opposite direction of where our cozy hotel room was waiting for us.   Then we drove about five more minutes before he pulled into the entrance of a La Quinta.

Him:  Where's the confirmation number for the hotel ?

I handed him my phone with the number and he marched into the motel lobby.

About three minutes later, he marched back to the van, and proclaimed, "Wrong La Quinta."

He looked at his iPhone again, pointed to the other red flag on Holiday Drive and said, "This is where our motel is."

I very nicely said, "Our motel is not on the GPS yet because it's new.  There is a Holiday Drive and Holiday Road.  That red flag is in a residential area."

Him:  How do YOU know ?

Me: Because Pam, the desk clerk at the La Quinta where we have our reservation, told me.  And, I told you that about thirty minutes ago.  She said to program in Sam's address and we would end up there.

Him:  Did you SEE a Sam's ?

Me:  No, but you were driving so fast, I didn't have a chance.  There were a lot of business along that access road.  I did see the sign for Walmart and that usually means a Sam's is close by.  Does that count ?

Him:  Snort

He continued driving in the opposite direction for almost ten more minutes before he stopped, dead center in the middle of the road, and said, "We're here."

Me:  We're where ?

Him:  This is the address on Holiday Drive that the GPS flagged as La Quinta.

We were sitting in front of a nicely decorated home in the middle of a residential area, just as Pam had said would happen if we followed the directions on our GPS.  

By now, the dogs were up and letting us know they needed a pit stop.  I pointed this out to him.

He proclaimed, "I'm not stopping."

I once again programmed Sam's address into the talking-GPS, and the lady in the box started squawking directions which took us in the direction from whence we came.

June Bug started making that funny sound which means, you better stop now !

He pulled into a C-Store, I opened the door, and June Bug barely made it out of the van.  While I proceeded to walk the other two dogs, he once again called Pam at La Quinta.

The conversation was pretty much like the first one, but for some reason, HansMan just couldn't accept the fact that the La Quinta was next door to Sam's. 

Once I loaded all the dogs back into the van, we started our search again.

The audible GPS was directing us to head straight west, so why were we in the left turn lane, headed to New Orleans ?

By the way, he's still on the phone with Pam and she heard me yell, "Don't turn here !"

He was able to pull out of that lane and continue west as the dogs were flung from their seats and most of the contents of the van shifted to the right.

As we continued on this road, the same road we were on thirty-five minutes earlier, I proclaimed, "Look, Big Ben . . . Parliament."  (If you've not watched the Chevy Chase Vacation movies, this will make no sense to you.)

Once again, the lady in the box, announced, "Destination on LEFT."

But because it was a new development, there were many one-way access roads and by the time he realized where he needed to turn, we had passed it and were headed back to the Interstate.  The one we had been on about forty minutes ago. 

So, we went under it and made a left turn from the wrong lane.  The guy in the lane next to us used his horn and sign language to let us know.

All this time, the lady in the box is still squawking, "Recalculating."

We made another left turn into a Starbucks, which was thankfully closed as we exited through its drive-in window lane, going the wrong way. 

We went under the Interstate. The one we had been on about forty-five minutes ago.

The lady in the box is now announcing, as she had earlier, "Destination is on the RIGHT."

Much to my surprise, HansMan followed her directions, and made a right-turn. 

We meandered along this access road and much to his surprise, arrived at our destination, The La Quinta almost an hour later.

He never did see the Sam's and will probably to this day, never admit that our motel was next door to it.

My only regret is that on our goose-chase, we didn't pull into one of those "Daiquiris-To-Go" places.  I understand they are quite potent, and a little rum might have helped.

Moral to this Story:  (You create your own.)

 

 

 

 

 

Travelogue

Whoa Dude !  Can't remember when there was time to create a post for this glob.

It all started with loading the Good Times Van with three weeks of necessities for a Christmas-cross-country-trip, three dogs and their accoutrements, and HansMan and his $hit, crap,  'stuff.'

Since there still isn't much time to dedicate to writing, here is a list of what I've observed, heard, learned, etc. so far:

1. It's a long way from Grand Junction to Bartlesville.  Especially when there are three jobs to be done in between those two points.

2. It always rains or there is construction when it's my turn to drive.

3. Even though there is a full size bed, a pallet on the floor, and two captain's chairs for the dogs, all three want to sit in my lap.  At the same time.

4. Are we having fun yet ?

5. Finding needed items in the van is not an easy task when 'someone' has rearranged everything in it.

5a. Coordinating house sitters so that they all aren't at the house at the same time is not an easy task.  (One reported that someone else had been in the house.  (Finally, figured out they were all there at some point during the day/night, but at different times.)

6. There are no La Quinta's (pet friendly) where we need to spend the night. 

7. Finally found a pet friendly motel in Garden City, KS, of all places !  That's where my youngest daughter and I "drownded" a Honda Accord one year.  That's a wholenother story.

8. Waving as we passed Pioneer Woman's Ranch meant we were almost there.

9.  Seeing the skyline of Bartlesville was a welcome sight.

10.  Invading daughter and son-in-law's house with boxes, bags, luggage, and dogs causes a wee bit of C~h~A~o~S.  Not to worry, hugs from Parker and Wyatt make everything 'ok.'

11. First morning, awaken to soft tickles on face and sweet kisses from Parker.

12. Second morning, awaken to a head butt from Wyatt.  (The reddish/bluish/greenish tinge around my eyes is festive.)

13.  Open gifts and wade through a sea of wrapping paper while grandkids play with first gifts opened and the boxes they came in.

12. Re-load van and head south with two-and-one-half weeks of necessities for a Christmas-cross-country-trip, three dogs and their accoutrements, and HansMan and his $hit, crap,  'stuff . . . AND two grandkids !  What ?  We've added children to our travels !

13. Celebrate another Christmas with youngest son and his family.

14. Celebrate can be used loosely where the dogs are concerned.  No matter how many times I tell HansMan that June Bug doesn't play well with others, he still doesn't get it.

15. Dog fight with youngest son's dog, Jake.  Dogs sleep in van.  HansMan almost ended up there, too.

16. Learn that adding peanut butter to chili recipe makes it scrumptious.

17. Two grandkids picked up by mom and dad.  Tell Texas family good-bye, and  re-load van and head south with two-and-one-fourth weeks of necessities for a Christmas-cross-country-trip, three dogs and their accoutrements, and HansMan and his $hit, crap,  'stuff.

(See item #4)

18. Stop in small town close to Itasca, TX, to see cousins.  Learn that there are others who collect Santas and that she has about 750 more than I do.  Fill up jugs with well water.  A delicacy for HansMan.

19. Continue south to Austin for another job. Coordinate that and visit with high school friend and her husband. Learn that adding mashed potatoes to yeast roll recipe makes them scrumptious.

20.  Enjoyed seeing the libary of her husband/famous author.  (Hint:  Holes)

21.  Less than 24 hours, on the road heading east to GA.

22.  It's a long was from Austin, TX to Valdosta, GA.

See item #4.

23.  Decide to take "scenic" route along coast.  Good idea except for the fact that the ferry was closed and we had to back track about 90 minutes.   So, that's what those signs along the way meant.  Who knew ?

24.  No problem. HansMan found 20# of fresh shrimp and I shopped at roadside junk sale and found collectable glass items. 

25.  Arrived in Valdosta . . . to be continued.

 

 

New York City and the Rockettes. Magical !

New York City is magical.

New York City is magical especially this time of year.

Walking into Radio  City Music Hall is magical, too. 

It's breath-taking.

The organists emerge from the walls. 

Just like magic.

It's almost like a dream and I ask myself, "Am I really here?"

These lights tell me, "Yes, you are really in this magical place."

Using a new camera is never easy, so these photographs turned out amazingly well considering I didn't have a clue what I was doing. 

It must have been magic.

Santa arrives on his sleigh pulled by some very beautiful, long-legged reindeer.

Time for some New York sighseeing . . .

. . . and the sightseers just happen to all be dressed in red and green . . .

. . . and can all do the high kick in unison.

Let me pause and vent for just a minute.  Many of the photos would have been almost perfect had it not been for those who came late to the performance.  In fact, about half of my photos look like this.  Yes, silhouettes are fun, but not like this. 

My favorite scene of the entire performance is the "Dance of the Wooden Soldiers."

During the entire dance, there were two ladies who stood in the middle of the aisle and watched it much to the disappoinment for those of us who were seated behind their bodies.

They were clueless.  How can people have no situational awareness ?

 

Even though the toy wooden soldiers are a little washed out, this photo does give a perspective on how grand they really are.

The Rockettes are always spectacular, but this year they were more precision-perfect than ever.

In every scene.

 

One scene is, of course, from the Nutcracker with Claire and the dancing bears.

 

The 'story line' changed this year from two brothers, the oldest who didn't believe in the Magic of Santa Claus, to a Mother who was looking for the perfect gift for her daughter.

Santa wanted the mother to understand that it wasn't finding a particular doll that was important but that bonding and spending time together was what Christmas was all about.

So, the next scene was this mother and daughter playing a video game together, which the audience watched through 3-D glasses. 

The 3-D scene was impressive. 

A mother and daughter bonding by playing a video game was a bit weak in my opinion.

But so much for being a critic. 

I just liked the two brothers from previous years better.

 

This colorful scene was from the North Pole where the elves created the video game.

 

Then, like magic, 100's of Santas appeared on stage !

 There were even Santas dancing in the aisles.

 

There are just no words to describe the Nativity Scene complete with animals.

Everyone takes their bows during the grand finale.

Even Santa !

And then, just like magic, the curtain came down and it was all a memory.

Portsmouth, New Hampshire

Dear Little Miss P,

When you asked where Pops and I were last night, I promised I would post something about that.

Well, we are in Portsmouth, New Hampshire.

 

Here is a map of the United States. 

Have your mommy or daddy help you find New Hampshire.

Use your left hand to point to where you live.

Use your right hand to point to New Hampshire.

 

 

Here is another map that makes it easier to locate New Hampshire.

 

Now, here is a map of New Hampshire. 

It's not a great map, but at least you can see that New Hampshire has a little bit of coastline on the Atlantic Ocean. 

That's where Portsmouth is located.

 

The only photos I have so far were taken at night. 

What year was Portsmouth settled ? 

How many years ago was that ?

Many of the churches in New England look like this. 

The steeple seems to disappear into the night sky.

Why is this part of the United States called New England ?

 

Here are the lights on the harbor. 

 

Why do you think there are lots of seafood restaurants in Portsmouth ?

Have you ever eaten lobster ?

Pops ate this one !

Do you like the 'fish eye' effect on this photo of the hall in our hotel ?

I promise to try to take more photos today.

Until then, here is a link for you to look at about Portsmouth.