Anecdotes, Antidotes, and Anodes

Can I Ear Mark My Tax Money on April 15 ?

I'll be the first to admit, I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box. All these words like toxic assets, collateralized debt obligation, complex derivatives, credit default swaps, regulation, and de-regulation have my head spinning.

There's not enough knowledge between my ears to even begin to write a post that makes any sense of what has happened to our economy or why.

Here's where YOU come in. I'm going to use one of my 'classroom assignment techniques' and let YOU, the student, the more intelligent of the two of us, comment and be creative.  In this type assignment, words, names, places, phrases, etc. are listed and you can choose one or three or all to write a story, a poem, research a person(s), create whatever you want to from this list:

A.I.G. (Arrogant, Ignorant, Greedy)  or create your own acronym...

Joseph Cassano  (AIGFP) create your own acronym...

London

Edward Liddy

Mike Milken

Maurice "Hank" Greenberg

Martin Sullivan

Senator Phil Gramm
    Glass Steagall Act
    Commodity Futures Modernization Act

OTS (Office of Thrift Supervision) or create your own acronym...

Goldman Sacks

Lloyd Blankfein

Hank Paulson

Fox

Henhouse

Wall Street

In bed with...

Capitol Hill

Forgets to pay taxes...

Tim Geitner

How much is a billion...

If you don't recognize some of those mens' names, they are connected in some way.  Spend a few minutes "Googling" their names to see how they all fit together.

In the meantime, I'll be on recess duty.

You Know It's Going to Be a Bad Day When...

Alright ! Already !  Yes, I know there hasn't been a decent post up here for days and days. Deal with it.

When this story (post below) ended, my attitude was not even close to being positive. It's pretty much gone downhill since then.  Oh, I'm feeling a wee bit better. At least good enough to HAND DELIVER a letter to my doctor today.

But, in the meantime...both my cornpooters have crashed. It's amazing how much work has been done around here because of that. All the Christmas decorations have now been boxed up and stored away. Yes, you heard me. There were still about 100 wooden Santas adorning my living room and an aluminum Christmas tree sparkling in the middle bedroom. The bed was piled high with stockings and other holiday what-nots, and I couldn't remember what color the carpet was because of all the "saved" wrapping paper, bows, and boxes strewn about.

Now, there is good news and there is bad news. The good news is that all those containers have been thoroughly sealed and labeled.  The bad news is that I left one next to AnodeMan's pickup truck. I didn't realize that when he left for work yesterday at 4:00 in the morning, he wouldn't see that plastic container. Yup. You guessed it. He stumbled on to it full speed. Knocked the skin off both his shins, sprained his wrist and elbow trying to catch himself as he fell face first across all those Santas.

Well, it wasn't dark when I put it there.

The next bit of "...it's going to be a bad day..." is when I realized that the FIFTY POUNDS of Niger Thistle that was loaded into the back of my car had exploded when the guy at the feed store "tossed" it in. The paper sack burst in half, thus releasing those seeds EVERYWHERE. Have you ever tried to clean up FIFTY pounds of Niger Thistle with a broom and dust pan? It ain't easy. I'll be finding those little black seeds for years to come. Actually, I think I'll just leave the doors open and turn my car into one large bird feeder.

I'll save the rest for later. It's time for another nap.

Crawling My Way Back to Breathing

Well, don't really know where to start this post. But maybe it would be best to start with the flat tire on the way to the airport the other day.

My philosophy is to allow ample time on "fly days" just in case something like that should happen. Well, it did. A young man was kind enough to help me put one of those baby tires on, and I was able to hobble my way to Tulsa doing about 40 miles per hour all the way to Thrifty Car. Do you know how many cars and little 'ole ladies with walkers pass you at 40 mph?

Once home, I had a knock down drag out with two prescriptions called Tetracycline and Metronidazol.  Needless to say, the antibiotics won and landed me in the Emergency Room. People, I'm here to tell you, one can die there. Because HansMan was out of town, my good friend, Shari, took me.

I laid ON THE WAITING ROOM FLOOR for TWO HOURS. She covered me with a blanket and I made certain my face wasn't covered for fear they would mistake me as being dead and roll me off to the morgue.

After registering, I was put in an examination room where I waited another 45 minutes. It was determined I needed an IV because I was dehydrated and something for my migraine.

Nurse #1:  Couldn't get a vein...she went for another nurse.

Thirty minutes later:

Nurse #2: She couldn't get a vein either.

Thirty minutes later:

Nurse #3: After being stuck SEVEN (7) times, she finally hit one.  My new nickname is Pincushion.

All told, I NEVER saw a doctor.

Shari drove me home and I've been wobbly ever since.  I called the doctor who prescribed the antibiotics and he can't see me until March 27.  Are you kidding me? 

Now, if you want to see if I've been productive, go check out the web-site I created (with the help of Class Creator) for my 40th High School Reunion. (Be sure to check out the Yearbook-left side bar link)

Thank to EVERYONE who has called and sent e-mails asking if everything is OK.

Now, I'm off to take a nap.

Out to Lunch

As you may (or may not) have noticed, it has been several days since a new post has shown up here. You are probably tired of feeding those cows.

There are several reasons for my absence, and I certainly won't bore you with the details.

Swampy's Place will be up and running again someday soon.

Thanks for all the calls and e-mails of concern. I'm amazed at how many of you keep up here and wonder what's going on if something new isn't posted on a regular basis.

Kathy

Feeding the Cows 103

Step 1: Make sure you know where to find the feed.

Step 2: Yup. You found it.

Step 3:  Pose with the feed chute.

Step 4:  Put feed in a Cuties box.

Step 5:  Take a close up photo of the feed.

Step 6: Load up in the pickup truck.
(See that big black box on the back of the pickup truck?  That's full of feed.)

 

Step 7: Take a closer-upper photo so we can see who's in the truck:
Little Miss P, Brookie, and MiMi.

 

Step 8: Let MiMi take a picture.
(It is important to have an ax to chop your way out of any predicament you might find yourself in.)   

   

Step 9: Drive across cattle guard and look for the cows.

 

Step 10: Be able to recognize cows.

 

Step 11: Write a 4-word essay for: "Feeding the Cows 103"

MiMi's Family Pets

I must admit, it's been a long time since I "fed the cows."  At one time in my life, we lived on a farm and owned some cows. It wasn't a huge herd, but nevertheless, they had large appetites and needed to be fed 24.7.365.  My job was to either drive the pickup truck while someone else kicked the hay bales out of the back, or I kicked out the hay bales. It depended on how cold it was whether I was IN the truck or in the BACK of the truck, and whoever won the flip of the coin that particular early morning in Oklahoma.  My other feeding experience was to bottle feed the orphan calves. Yes, we would go to the sale barn and buy orphans at a low price, hand feed them from a bottle until they could eat "regular food," beef them up, take them back to the sale barn in a year or two, and then sell them at whatever the going price was.  Now, it you've never bottle fed orphan calves, you may not know what the scours are.  And no, our calves didn't read and scour through a book. Or did they scour something as in cleaning or polishing it.  This is the scours I'm talking about.  Believe me, calf diarrhea is the most foul-smelling, make your nostrils flare fragrance that will ever tickle your olfactory senses.  And it is slimier and slicker than snot. 

So with that knowledge about my experience with "feeding the cows," I hope you enjoy this new experience we had with "feeding the cows with MiMi."

 

This is Sally and she wants a nibble.

 

That's Mimi feeding Sally, Brooke holding the next bite, and Little Miss P observing.

 

I can't remember this one's name, but she didn't want to be left out.

 

Yum-Yum...Jalepeno flavored potato chips.

 

AACCHHKK ! Who put MY window down ?  Sally decided there might be more food on my side of the truck and MiMi thought it would be funny to roll down my window.

 

This is just a little TOO close for me MiMi ! 

 

Me thinks Sally is going to crawl through MY window !  Nice earrings, by the way.

 

Help ! I'm just the photographer. Someone feed Sally before she eats my camera.

 

She has her own special built-in booger picker.

 

Watch your fingers or Sally may turn into a carnivore.

 

No worries. Sally is toofless. 

 

Pass the drool cup, please.

 

No way. If you think we are going to hand-feed that one, I'm outta here.

Hand Feeding Bill, the Bull

This is supposed to be Wordless, and I tried. I really did try not to talk. But I just can't help myself. Check out these bloggers at Wordless Wednesday who probably really did post with no words.

As promised yesterday, here is how to feed Oklahoma cattle...up close and personal...

1)

 

2)

 

3)

 

4)

5)

 

6)

 

7)

 

Tomorrow, you can just hop in the feed truck with us and we'll drive through the Oklahoma prairie feeding some more of these critters...which are even more up close and personal.

Any classy-bovine-bucolic captions ?

On the Ranch with MiMi

The thermometer reading was 23 degrees and the Oklahoma winds were more than just a bit breezy.
Add those two factors together and you get the sum of "freezing one's eesh-keesh off."  We needed rocks in our pockets to keep from blowing into the next county. But, wind, or rain, or sleet, or hail would keep us from heading to The Ranch and spending the afternoon with MiMi. 

Our first order of business was to meet the dogs...

 

This is Little Miss P with Bear.

 

And, this is Sam.

 

And, this is Little Miss P introducing "Handy Manny" to Bear.  These two precious puppies will someday have a job on The Ranch. That job will  involve racoons. I'll leave it to your imagination as to the details of that job.

Stay tuned for some up close and personal photos of hand-feeding Bill the Bull. And when I say "Up Close and Personal,"  I mean REALLY up close. 

Many of you will recognize where we are if you frequent P-Dub-Ya's Blog.

Mother's Day in March

   Today's Mon Funday hostess is covered in chocolate. If you don't believe me, just go check out JO at Chocolate and Other Things.  She has this to say about our assignment,
 "March 2nd is my Mom's birthday and was her mother's birthday as well. For this week's Fun Monday, tell me something fun about you mother and/or her mother. What fun, weird, laughable memories do you have of your Mom or your Grandma?

 

 

These photos are of my mom.  I think of her everyday.  She was a Master Teacher and loved being in the classroom. She was my first teacher at a two-room country school north of Antlers, Oklahoma, called Kellond. We lived on the "teacherage."  (If you don't know what a teacherage is, think parsonage.) She was a talented seamtress and made all my clothes. At the time, I wanted "bought" clothes, but now realize I had my very own haute coutre closet.  She even designed and made my wedding dress.  She was also a great cook.  She made a mean peanut butter and banana sandwich.

Mom was probably the best Grandmother ever.  Her two granddaughters were treated to about anything they ever wanted...like warm brownies 24 hours a day.

When I lost her, there were no words left unsaid.  She knew she was loved. When I see the sun's rays or the stars twinkle at night, it just reminds me of her beautiful smile.

If you are lucky enough to still have your mom, make sure you tell her you love her today.

******************************************************************************

Happy Birthday to Jo's mom and to her grandmother.

 

The Reason I'm Not Blogging These Days

On my list of "things to do," blogging has traveled to the bottom and this has made it way to the VERY top:

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, I'm off and running trying to keep up with Little Miss P.

"Hey, you !  Slow down...Gammy can't run that fast !"