Good Night, Friend
Junior, one of our Boxers, was diagnosed with lymphoma two months ago and has been undergoing chemo treatments here and also at Colorado State University. He has been a valiant warrior, never once whining or complaining. Hans and I vowed that when his quality of life became compromised, we would make that decision to have the vet come to the house and let him sleep. We hoped that Junior would just go to sleep on his own so that we would not have to make that call, but that was not to be. For the last two days, Junior has stayed in the house and would only venture outside at our urgings. This morning was different. He headed out the doggie doors on his own which gave our hearts a bit of a leap, thinking his lethargy and lack of appetite was due to the chemo, not the cancer. We never gave up hope. We both grabbed coats and gloves to follow him. Immediately, we realized what Junior was doing. He was making his last rounds to all his old haunts for a final good-bye. Bubba, his brother, and June Bug, his daughter, made every step with him. (Bug came to live with us from her home in WY. Our daughter has a 6 week-old daughter, 2 year-old son, and husband in Iraq. Bug was too much to handle.) I grabbed my camera for some last shots of Junior to post them today, along with a few from last evening. I guess this is my way of mourning the loss of a best friend. In a sense, a way to honor him. Yes, I know there are children in our World starving, being abused at this very minute, and dying of catastrophic diseases. I do try to keep my priorities straight. I am thankful that all our children are contributing citizens to society and that our grandchildren are healthy. But, today I grieve in my own way. I would imagine that Junior's first stop was at Sesame Street to pick up several Elmo's for his friends: Max, Daisy, Tippy, Hershey, Walker, Hi-C, and Roxie.
Last evening, Bubba gave Junior his daily bath. Bubba knew something was wrong from the git-go.
Bubba was very generous with the drool as evidenced by the wetness of Junior's fur and on his collar. Junior did his share of bathing others.
...one last photo together for the best buddies who had so much in common...one commonality, being sprayed by a skunk, on different occasions...Junior and Bubba have never been apart for 8 years, even on overnight stays at the vet's. Except maybe for a few times they ran away from home and terrorized the neighborhood for a few hours. Actually, there was this cute little poodle...
...Junior's and Bubba's favorite spot in the whole world with their favorite two 'people'...theHansMan and Elmo...
Junior loved sitting on people and his brother. He also loved kids.
His first stop was at the tree that houses many gambel quail...Junior was told only once not to chase them...June Bug is still learning...
Junior continues his memory walk...
The rabbits congregated around these trees. Just one last check to see if Roger or Peter are there for their morning chat. One rabbit chatted a little too long on this day.
One of Junior's favorite past-times was chasing lizards out of this ivy. Many of them did survive but usually without their tails.
Junior paused here for one last dig in the dirt. He always thought there was something "under there," and today was no different.
...a time to reflect on sending many an animal scurrying up that hill for fear of being eaten alive..here is where the coyote met his fate early one morning...
...his memory walk continued with Bubba and Bug accompanying him...
...he checked all the briars, and he checked all the brambles, and he checked all the bushes where a rabbit wouldn't go...
...a stop at the rocks, another favorite lizard hang-out...
He finally ran out of energy and sat down to survey all the terrority that was his. He knew it was his. He had marked every square inch of it.
...the true definition of Unconditional Love...
...saying good-bye...his journey had ended...
**Elmo Softly Sings**
"Goodnight Friend
The day is at an end
When we can dream - about the things - we love to do
Elmo and you
Good Night Friend
Good Night, Junior..."
JUNIOR September 21, 1998 - January 2, 2007
oh you made me cry...
damn.
I have the last day picture of my pal, too.
I have not been able to think about having another dog.
I'm sorry for you and Hans.
When you've been loved unconditionally, the trust is so sweet. The goodbye comes too soon.
tears.
Posted by: PAMELA | January 03, 2007 at 12:53 AM
These aren't tears in my eyes. I have allergies.
Posted by: Mist 1 | January 03, 2007 at 01:05 AM
I'm am so so sorry. I have been through this only a few times in the past and know the day is fast approaching for our dear Mook. My throat is tight and I can't bear the thought. Losing a pet is one of the worst kinds of loss for me. I don't know if I can take it. These animals our a friends to the death, no conditions, just love.
My thoughts are with you both.
Posted by: janet | January 03, 2007 at 02:05 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. Dogs are more than just pets. They become a part of the family, our best friends, the place to go for unconditional love.
It took me a year to get another dog after my Poodle died, and even with the new addition to the family, I still miss her.
Thanks for sharing with us. :)
Posted by: biddiegirl | January 03, 2007 at 02:59 AM
I have never been a big dog lover, but today I sit here at my puter not feeling so great. I sit here with something in my eyes because grown men don't cry. I will miss not being able to see Junior the next time we come west. So sorry for you, Hans and Bubba.
Posted by: BLKHART | January 03, 2007 at 03:19 AM
You've brought me to tears. I'm so sorry for your loss, sweetie. He was a lucky dog to have you...and you were lucky to have him.
Posted by: Jenny | January 03, 2007 at 04:10 AM
I am sorry for your loss. People do not realize how a pet touches our lives and Junior clearly touched your lives and was very special to you. At some point our pets become our children, but I think we become theirs as well.
Posted by: skydancer069 | January 03, 2007 at 05:46 AM
My hugs for you, Hans, Bubba and June Bug! It's hard to loose our beloved pets! Hopefully Bug will be able to fill a little bit of the void. . .
Thanks for sharing Junior with us! We will all miss him too. . .
Posted by: Shauna | January 03, 2007 at 05:59 AM
I'm so sorry.
hugs to you.
Posted by: Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom | January 03, 2007 at 06:05 AM
Junior gave you lots of love and joy. Celebrate his life, not the emptiness he leaves behind.
Posted by: min | January 03, 2007 at 06:11 AM
Swampy...I'm sorry.
This is a beautiful tribute to a precious member of your family. And, if I'm not mistaken, one of the few times someone else's pet story has moved me to tears.
Hugs across the miles....
Posted by: Robin | January 03, 2007 at 06:38 AM
Mama Drama sent me to you. What a beautiful story. Know that he is in Doggy Heaven with all the treats and toys and Elmos he can possibly handle. Hugs from a total stranger...
Posted by: Margaret | January 03, 2007 at 06:58 AM
Aw Kath! I cried last night when I got your email and I wondered how in the world you were going to write this post without completely breaking down. You honored him well! I am so glad that I met Junior and Bubba when I did. Junior was such a handsome dog. Send my love to Hans, Bubba and Bug. Hug each other for me! Prayers, hugs and ladybugs!
Posted by: Julie | January 03, 2007 at 07:15 AM
Mom I cried last night and again this morning when I read your post. I still remember that first trip to CO after you got Bubba and Junior and we called Junior radar b/c of the thing he had to wear when they cropped his ears. I remembe rhow he used to chase Bubba under the coffee table with that thing on and he would get hung up and cry. I think my favorite memory of then is pulling them in the wagon all over Aspen. That was the same trip that we learned that they would pose for the camera! Well goodbye Junior we will miss you!! Take care of Daisy for me!!
Posted by: SWAMPSPAWN | January 03, 2007 at 07:25 AM
You know, I'd usually *sing* in a feeble attempt to comfort you, but that Elmo song was enough. And in this case, it was beautiful.
You know I'm sending hugs. I'm so glad you and the HansMan had Junior and he had the two of you.
And now I have to excuse myself before my coworkers see me crying.
Posted by: Stephanie | January 03, 2007 at 07:31 AM
((((SW)))
I too mourn with you. Junior was part of your family and you have every right to post this. I am sorry for your loss and you have written a moving and beautiful tribute to a wonderful friend and companion.
Posted by: Brian | January 03, 2007 at 07:52 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. Pets really are part of the family and to lose one is like losing a little piece of your heart.
Godspeed Junior ~ be sure to cross the Rainbow Bridge when the time comes for you to be reunited with your family.
Posted by: JillyD | January 03, 2007 at 08:26 AM
I am really sorry Swampwitch. Making that decision to let your furbaby go is one of the hardest but best decisions we will have to make... it takes a lot of love to let them go with dignity instead of hanging on to them as long as we can. I know and feel your pain. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Mary (Mert) | January 03, 2007 at 08:38 AM
I don't know you personally, but I most certainly share your pain and loss. We lost our Sweetpea in Oct 2005, and she was our kiddo too. I wish she'd been able to be at home, at least your big handsome boy had that. I know it was hard to do, but thanks for sharing your tears and memories. It's sad and happy and painful and everything all at once. I know, hubby and I have been there, and we're with you in spirit now, as pet parents. Hugs.
Posted by: Gryphonesse | January 03, 2007 at 09:07 AM
A beautiful tribute to a beautiful dog!!!
I too don't know you but I am so sorry you lost your beautiful baby, I know your pain as I lost my baby Bolshoi last September and it still hurts.
Posted by: Tara (taz) | January 03, 2007 at 09:29 AM
What a lovely tribute!
Posted by: Alison | January 03, 2007 at 10:33 AM
Saddest thing I have read in a long time. What a beautiful tribute to a long friend! Your photos and words touched my heart, I am still choking back tears in empathy for your loss. I just hope my coworkers to not stop in my office just now.
Where you found the strength to write this I'll never know.
My blessings go out to you an Hans.
GBU...
-JC
Posted by: JCAS | January 03, 2007 at 10:44 AM
Oh, I am so sorry. I am wiping the tears from my eyes. What a precious dog. And an even more precious tribute.
Goodnight, Junior.
Posted by: Susan in va | January 03, 2007 at 10:45 AM
Eyes gaze other side
Brown and white loyal friendship
Shadowed memories
Pointy ears muzzle blackened
Time to go our hearts breaking
Dear Kath and Hans,
I hope this Tanka does justice to Junior.
Posted by: Brian | January 03, 2007 at 11:04 AM
Oh, the loss of a baby is so tender to the heart.
I have had this experience, from afar, only once - but it was like losing a part of my life.
May Jr roam freely through your dreams, where he will forever live in your heart. D :)
Posted by: FelineFrisky | January 03, 2007 at 02:46 PM
Kathy~
My heart is just breaking for you and Hans...and Bubba too. I know how special Junior was and how loved he was. Letting go is so hard. I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Junior was such a special dog. I so enjoyed knowing him and playing with him and Bubba. I loved how they watched for me when I ran, and would meet me at the corner of the fence to run the final steps. I loved how he and Bubba would cuddle up with you whereever you settled in, on the couch or the bed or the floor. I know things will never be the same without Junior. I know Max is watching out for him and showing him the ropes. Please accept my deepest sympathy. I wish I could do more than cry with you. Give Bubba a big hug from me and for you.
Posted by: Equoni | January 03, 2007 at 02:56 PM
This will probably be the last time I follow a link from Jenny's blog! Damn her! I can only sympathize with you and know when I have to put my "kids" down I will be a blubbering idiot! Can't we change company policy to include bereavement time for pets!? My heart goes out to you Bubba and Junebug who will be looking for their playmate for days to come!
Posted by: Tracy | January 03, 2007 at 02:59 PM
Cathy, I'm sorry. These posts are really hard to write and almost as hard to read.
Posted by: willowtree | January 03, 2007 at 03:09 PM
Ohh my dear, dear Swampy. It's taken 15 mins and 2 trips to the ladies room in order to get a hold of myself... and yet I am still quietly crying for Junior.
Not that he is gone... that does hurt oh so much... but more for the beauty of you loving him.. treasuring him.. understanding him.. and taking good care of him.
That paw print in the snow is so moving.. so poetic. The animals in our life are just like that... gone when the season change, before you know it, and much sooner than it should ever happen. They were here with us to teach us a lesson about love, life, family and friends... and I think Junior did all that and more.
Much love from Kobe and I. I'm glad the Junior was lucky enough to have wonderful "parents" like you.
Posted by: marnie | January 03, 2007 at 03:10 PM
PAMELA: 'the trust is so sweet'
MIST 1: I can always count on a smile from you.
JANET: Only pet lovers can understand.
BIDDIEGIRL: Pets take over a part of our hearts and when they leave us, a part of our heart goes missing.
BLKHART: Hope you guys are planning a trip 'Out West,' we'll be here
JENNY: Your link to my place set my site meter spinning. The check is in the mail.
SKYDANCER 069: 'pets become our children, we become theirs as well'
SHAUNA: Bug is so good for Bubba. He was playful today even though he's been looking for Junior.
JANETWonderMom: Thank You !
MIN: Your comment is the reason for Thursday's post...'celebrate his life'
ROBIN: You green blogger you...I felt your hug, I really did.
MARGARET: Hugs from a total stranger feel good.
LAFYBUG: I'm so glad you met him, even if it was for just a few minutes. I'm sure you got a lick or two.
SWAMPSWAN: I had to just go look at the front page picture of the Aspen Times. What a wonderful memory you have brought back.
One thing I learned, I would NEVER crop another dog's ears again. No rabbit is safe from Junior and Daisy.
STEPHANIE: I can just hear you singing and sobbing.
BRIAN: Thank you for the Tanka. I have to admit, I had to go to Wikipedia. "Shadowed Memories" did me in. I knew you would "see" the message there.
JILLYD: You did me in with "Rainbow Bridge." For that, you must send me your new camera.
MARYMERT: To have kept him alive would have been selfish on our part. He told us in no uncertain terms with his memory walk that the time had come.
GRYPHONESSE: Thanks for all the links. As with Jenny, your link spun my site meter to spinning. You'll have to share the $$$ that's in the mail with her.
TARA TAZ: As I said earlier, only pet lovers can understand the heartache of losing one.
ALISON: Thank you.
JOHN: Thank you. I found the strength in that one close up picture of Junior. He was so strong and deserved this tribute. In a way, I have kept him alive in our hearts and in other's hearts, too.
SUSAN: 'goodnight Junior'
FELINEFRISKY: 'roam through your dreams...forever live in your heart'
EQUONI: He loved you.
TRACY: Aw, give Jenny one more chance. Most of the time it's mayhem and madness here at The Asylum.
TO ALL OF YOU: For those who come here regularly, thank you for being dedicated globbing friends. For those who came today for the first time, thank you, and I hope you'll come back again. It's usually pretty much a random zoo with some coordinated chaos on the side. Right now, my head feels like an anvil full of snot, but I know the snot will dry up. Unfortunately, the anvil will remain. Your comments have made me cry and laugh. I thank you for both.
Kathy :)
Posted by: swampwitch | January 03, 2007 at 03:40 PM
i feel for you all in this loss hugs to you both x
Posted by: her indoors | January 03, 2007 at 03:40 PM
DubYaT: Thank you. I always love it when you post your precious pups...even if they are always drugged on doggie valium. Have you put mine in the mail yet?
MARNIE: 'gone when the season change, before you know it, and much sooner than it should ever happen' I'm glad the footprint spoke to you. I've heard that pets don't live as long as we do because they get IT figured out much more quickly. Tell Kobe thanks and give his a hug.
Posted by: swampwitch | January 03, 2007 at 03:45 PM
HER INDOORS: Did I ever tell you I donated your gift certificate to our Pet Shelter? Good to hear from you. Are you still having problems navigating here? Thanks for the hugs.
Posted by: swampwitch | January 03, 2007 at 03:46 PM
I have tears in my eyes for your loss, Swampy - so sad for you. That pawprint was just too precious...
I'm going home to hug my Poo Woo extra-tight.
Posted by: Tiggerlane | January 03, 2007 at 04:05 PM
What a wonderful tribute (beautiful photos). I am sorry for your loss, but I am sure you will have fond memories of Junior for a lifetime.
Posted by: Rhonda | January 03, 2007 at 04:07 PM
What a beautiful tribute.
Reading about Junior and how much he means to you - just makes me sad at the inevitability of losing our dog. He's a part of our family, and I can't imagine not having him with us. He's 12 now.....and he's arthritic, bless his heart. And bless yours -- I know it's not easy. We lost our beloved cat 18 months ago and we all (including our dog) still miss him terribly.
Posted by: Tiger Lamb Girl | January 03, 2007 at 04:28 PM
I am going to be linking in my PT post tomorrow.
((((hugs))))
Posted by: Brian | January 03, 2007 at 04:55 PM
Swampy: This was so beautiful. I am so very sorry for your loss.
Posted by: Nessa | January 03, 2007 at 07:32 PM
That was beatiful. You brought tears to my eyes. I remember when I had to put my pokey to rest. I cried like a baby for days. I am convinced she stayed with me long enough to meet my daughter then when she knew I would have someone to watch over me she let go. You were lucky to have him in your life and he was lucky to have you. It is hard to lose a best friend. hugs
Posted by: wolfbaby | January 03, 2007 at 07:48 PM
We are so sorry about sweet Junior. Know that God takes care of us all...people and dogs. What an incredible tribute...one befitting Junior. Kathy and Hans, we love you and give Bubba and June Bug big hugs for us. Makes you take a step back from the fast pace of life and realize what's important. Hmmmmm...I think Jake and Rufus will be sleeping in the bed tonight! XXOO
Cary and Mel
Posted by: Melissa and Cary | January 03, 2007 at 10:09 PM
TIGGERLANE: The pawprint hasn't melted yet. I saw it today.
RHONDA: He will remain in our hearts forever.
TIGERLAMBGIRL: I hope that everyone who read this post today hugs their pets a little more often. And everyone who has children...well, that's a no-brainer.
BRIAN: I've seen it. Thank You! I just had to go back and read my Rainbow poem again after seeing your post tonight.
NESSA: Thank you. The healing has begun.
WOLFBABY: Isn't it amazing what animals can sense and do for us?
MELISSA&CARY: I love you guys ! Keep Rufus and Jake warm...a 2 dog night! Wasn't that a rock group back in the 60's...plus 1 dog?
TO ALL: I just hope I can be the kind of person my dog thinks I am !
Posted by: swampwitch | January 03, 2007 at 10:55 PM
oh, wow.
what a lovely, lovely tribute. what a good family. sorry, swampfishwitch...so sorry.
Posted by: jen | January 04, 2007 at 12:09 AM
I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes, and I hate to cry, so I can only imagine how you're feeling. I am so (so, so, so, so, soooooo) sorry for your loss. The time will come when I will have to say goodbye to one of my dogs and I only hope I can give them the eloquent send-off that you gave Junior.
Posted by: Mrs. Chicky | January 04, 2007 at 08:39 AM
Swampy, I'm so sorry about Junior. I know he was such a part of your family. That was a fittingly beautiful tribute and I know he will always be a part of the winds that travel over his territory.
My sympathies to you and the family, it's hard losing a pet so dear. xox
Posted by: LWTLSOHH | January 04, 2007 at 09:28 AM
OH SWAMPWITCH -
My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry. Do not feel guilty grieving for Junior. The loss of a pet runs deep.
I will think of him whenever I see an Elmo or a really slobbery dog.
Posted by: Karmyn R | January 04, 2007 at 11:28 AM
What a beautiful tribute! It must have been wonderful to be able to go with Junior on his last walk, accompanied by his friends. I have a bit of a soft spot for Boxers.
Posted by: Miss Siri | January 04, 2007 at 11:40 AM
Gosh! I was okay until the footprint in the snow and then the shadow....
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's real.
Posted by: Vicki | January 04, 2007 at 02:48 PM
JEN: Thank you.
MISSCHICKY: Junior deserved an eloquent send-off and I'm so happy others "know" him now.
LWTLSOHH: 'the wind that travels over his territory' How beautiful. Thank you.
KARMYNR: These Elmo's lying around are really getting to me. Neither Bubba or Bug are interested in them anymore. Thanks for remembering him, too.
MISSSIRI: Boxers are great dogs. And yes, the walk helped me know that he knew.
VICKI: Thanks. The footprint in still in the snow. I'm going to miss it when it melts.
Posted by: swampwitch | January 04, 2007 at 03:53 PM
Swampy...I just got back from FL and I have not been keeping up. I am so very sorry. My heart breaks for you...
Posted by: claudia | January 04, 2007 at 07:17 PM
I have tears running down my cheeks! So sorry for your loss. What wonderful last photos. Looks like he had a VERY good life.
Posted by: momto3cubs | January 04, 2007 at 08:59 PM